Anilao: 7 to 14 Dec

Finally, my pc is back! So now I can upload some photos from my recent Anilao trip! :)

Below is Portulano. Other than this resort, you can't find other shops or resorts on this part of island where it is accessible. BUT the 3 of us practically had exclusive use of the resort for 5 days out of the 8 days! We even had massage on the sun deck under the bright full moon and starry night! Enjoyment!

Well, 2 mad men taking photos of each other at the jetty... And of course, another insane woman stole a shot of the 2 of them! :O

Some diving highlights... Below is porcelain crab...

Stonefish - never realise that they have such colourful fins!

Such colourful fire urchin. They are prevalent in sites that are polluted.

We were fortunate to stumble across this giant Triton! It is the enemy of urchins, for it eats them! Triton certainly helps to keep the corals alive.

Saw the crab? It was only about 2cm. I had a hard time trying to capture a good shot of it as it was so tiny and its movements were so fast! Have yet to find out its name though.

Psst... This is R-rated! This pair of nudibranches are in the midst of making love!!

Another colourful nudibranch...

Here is a cute one!

Merry Christmas!

X'mas is just less than 2 days away and everyone seems to be on a last minute shopping frenzy trying to get the long X'mas gift list all tick off. Seriously, I do not think I am much better in that for I never have an easy time with pressies. It is tough to get something that I think the intended recipient will like ( that is within my budget!). It is more like throwing darts and see if I manage to hit the bull eye or miss it totally.. Arrgh...

Do I have a wild and hectic party plan around X'mas? The answer is no… Somehow I have outgrown that and will prefer quieter get togethers… Call me attitude… old… or spoilt sport… But one cannot expect my likings or activities to remain the same after all these years…

Still, X'mas is my favourite festive season. There are so many activities revolving around this day, and the whole town seems alive! Such contagious mood. More importanly, I like the idea of sharing and caring behind this day.

Merry X'mas, folks! Have a great fun time out there!

These 2 weeks

I went MIA for awhile… the reasons were many:

1 . My CPU at home went up in a smoke literally 2 weeks ago, tripping the whole electricity circuit in the house. Still waiting for repair options, so there is no pc for use at home for the time being.

2. I was busy packing my luggage for my Philippines trip, handling my kittens and doing last minute practises for the Standard Chartered Marathon.

3. I was away in Anilao to eat, sleep and dive for the whole of last week.

4. Was back in office more than half dead yesterday after landing in Singapore very late night on Sun, and was rushing to get everything in order for the evening X'mas party at Dempsey Hill.

Will try do more updates on my marathon and Anilao trip if I get the chance… Otherwise, they should remain as pure memories. Haaa...

Nitrox Certified

I took my Nitrox test yesterday evening. It was only 25 MCQ and it was easy. I took less than 20mins to finish the questions and scored 100%. If only I knew earlier, I would not have tried so hard trying to study that stupid book - it was super duper boring!

Now that I got my Enriched Air Diver Specialty certification, I am all geared up for my Philippines diving trip from Dec 7 to 14… :-D :-) ;-P

Anilao, here I come! Sea creatures, wait for me!

Sick week

I was sick most of the time last week somehow. It started on a Tue, and it came and went for the following few days. The worst hit was Friday, where I had diarrhoea for 6x in the morning before I took pills to stop it. I had a very bad hit of stomach cramp spasms thereafter in the evening where I almost went berserk in office. And the irony was that I had seen a doctor just an hour before that, and the doctor was still saying that I looked well and should be on my way to recovery for my stomach flu! :O Cancelled everything that I planned to do on a Fri evening, I headed home with some assistance.

I was running a fever too as I laid on bed that night, but it was indeed a relief to be back home resting. I slept and slept that night, waking up every now and then. I was supposed to attend a friend’s church wedding on Sat afternoon, but yes, I skipped that as well… My body was too weak after fighting the whole night, and the weather outside was too hot for someone like me to be out there…

Good news is I should have recovered… cos I had resumed my run (but a short one) last evening…

What's next?

When results do not match up to expectations
What’s next?

When actions do not tally with words
What’s next?

When words do not reflect innermost feelings and emotions
What’s next?

When the heart is loggerhead with the brain
What’s next?

Is there a best way?

It has been a year

I was officially 1 year old in my company on 4 Nov. What an achievement for someone like me! Hah. It had been a fruitful one year – many things to learn, adapt and handle.

It wasn’t exactly an easy journey in this company but I supposed I should not be complaining too much. It is so much better than my previous experience, for at least there isn’t that much politicking here that drives me up the wall, and there are enough challenges to keep me constantly on my toes and set me thinking more.

Of course the future is unknown – how long and far in this company, I do not know. But for the time being, I figure I just need to keep going, and the future will unravel by itself… hopefully in a positive way.

A Night of Loss

Saturday, 8 Nov:

It was the longest struggle to get myself to sleep. As the minutes and hours ticked by, I laid on my big and comfy bed wondering why I was still wide awake...

12.30am:

I was on bed, ready to sleep. It was a stuffy night but I refused to on the air con, thinking that I would not wake up if I make it too conducive for sleeping… I was supposed to wake up at 645am that early morning to go for my run at East Coast Park…

2.30am:

For some reasons, I was still awake. I looked at my clock and started to panic - I had only 4 hours before I needed to wake up. Was it the iced lemon tea I had earlier with my Mac meal, I thought to myself. I tossed and turned… visited the toilet for the umpteen times and decided to on the radio, the soothing music might rock me into lullaby.

3.30am:

WTF, how came I am still alive?! All methods seemed to fail… n the harder I tried to sleep, the more it eludes me! My mind raced through all alternatives and was bombarded with all random thoughts.

4.06am:

Smsed my friend to cancel the run in the morning, for I was sure I would be more than half dead at 6.45am. I was totally pissed with myself!

4.30am:

Oh yes, oh yes… I think you got the idea…

And I did drift into sleep eventually, thought dunno what time... I woke up at 9am in the morning, feeling totally drained… So I did no morning run, ended up having lunch and doing shopping with my friend who had bunked at my house on Sat… But there was obviously a price to pay – I took a nap in the afternoon to get my energy back, and ended rescheduling other things to fit in a shorter run of 10km in the evening...

NO MORE seah.

Horrible Experience

Someone just reminded me that I could not longer wise up as I did a wisdom tooth extraction recently. What he does not know is that I JUST did another extraction yesterday! It was surgery to remove the impacted bottom right wisdom tooth. After procrastinating for about 7 years, I finally picked up my courage to have the other impacted wisdom tooth removed.

It was a horrifying experience when I had my first wisdom tooth removed. I was always having toothache during exam period due to stress in my University days. I eventually bit the bullet to remove that particular one when I started work… I still can remember vividly how the 2 nurses pressed on each of my shoulders to keep me down while the male dentist struggled to have my stubborn tooth removed, the trauma, pain… and the tears that rolled down after the anesthetic wore off… thus I never dared to go and remove the other impacted tooth…

However, my right jaw gave me problems while I was diving at Manado. I thought it must be the decayed wisdom tooth causing the intolerable pain at the jaws that even painkillers could not keep it away… After checking, the ENT specialist said it was due to the inability of clearing my ears, thus causing the bleeding of the nose.

Then again, I thought it should be high time that I get rid of this troublesome tooth which is always trapping food and causing headache. So I fixed up an appointment more than a month again… and I had it removed yesterday. I must be a real coward for I regretted my action as I sat on the dental chair… I tensed up when I felt pain while the dentist was drilling apart my tooth even though she had given jabs of anesthetic, and I squirmed in silence when I could feel how hard she tried to dislodge my remaining root…

All was done now though after the long 1 n 1/2 hours of trauma at the dentist. I am now on antibiotics and 2 types of painkillers… and I realized that it is awfully painful without the more potent painkillers... Just tested it and I am feeling the pain as I am writing now... Oh yes, my pocket is badly burnt too - a total cost of $905!

BUT I am on a straight 5 days of medical leave… so that is something to celebrate – at least no work for this week! And I do NOT have a single wisdom tooth left, so do not blame me if I appear to be really stupid!

Another HK trip...

I was at Hong Kong last Fri to Sun… The purpose? For the Bledisloe Cup – All Blacks against Wallabies battle of Rugby happening on Sat, 1 Nov… It was a working trip – we had great dealing with this game, and our Hong Kong office had planned corporate hospitality programs around this game since last Wed till game day on Sat…

With Helen’s wedding on Thu, I could only fly down on Fri to attend the evening cocktail function… It was Halloween that day of course, and I realized that Hongkies celebrate this day big time! You could only see mountains of people trying to get their way into Lan Kwai Fong from 9pm! Gosh! I ended up with colleagues in a pub at Shaunton road after the cocktail event, and later pub hopped to Wan Chai. I nearly got myself into trouble with different Ang Mos – they must be thinking I am an easy target or something? Darn!!

Yes, yes it was THE match on Sat @ Hong Kong Stadium, 4.30pm… The stadium was nearly packed full with 39 000+ people… How was the rugby? Well… the game was not live as it is NZ All Blacks to retain the trophy. Yet, you could see all enthusiastic fans (mostly ang mos) cheering for their team. The mood was simply contagious. Both teams put up a good fight as well, especially 2nd half of the game.

I had a great time thereafter too as I got the chance to meet up with my colleague who was just relocated there. He treated me to the famous curry pork chop rice and a cup of iced coffee at Pacific Coffee. I toured his new place of residence thereafter, and his place made me drool with envy- so darn nice especially with facilites such as rooftop open space, cosy lounge area and spectacular views! However, I made no way down to the pub that night though I had agreed to as I was getting way too lazy after getting back to hotel.

It was totally R&R day on Sunday – I had breakfast in the room, took a walk down the harbour and shopped around Mong Kok before taking the 6.30pm flight back to Singapore…

Not a trip that I wanted to go initially, but it was my boss who wanted me to be there… So there I was, and it was more like an R&R trip for me. Did not know how to exactly describe this trip – too much mixed feelings on what I saw and experienced… But I do know that it certainly added to my pool of experience… I should be more wised up next time round... hopefully…

Wedding on 30th Oct

It was a tiring affair to drag myself up at early hour of 5am to get myself prepared before heading off to Helen’s house to prepare for gate crashing… It didn’t help when I slept barely 4 hours, as I was busy packing my barangs to go over to hotel immediately after the morning session and as well as for my Friday’s Hong Kong trip. But soon all was forgotten – I only remembered to sabotage the guys and kept asking for ang pows. Haa..

It was customary wedding in the morning and a simple catholic wedding thereafter. The sisters had to walk the aisle too after the page boy and flower girl in church! Where she got that idea from?! :-O *innocent look*

The night was at Regent Hotel. I was overwhelmed with emotions when I saw the montage, not to mention when the couple did the walk in… Helen is such a dear friend to me all these years, and I am both touched and delighted to be there witnessing such an important moment of hers. And yes, the evening just passed at a wink of an eye… So many months of hard work for a day… Haaa…

Oh yes, I forget to add that I was the star of the morning video montage – you can practically see a lot of close up shots of me, the notorious bitch in action! What a disgrace!

Wedding bells are near

In another two days, it will be my long time pal’s wedding! Helen was my primary school mate, and our friendship goes back the longest in history. I’m certainly happy for her that she has found her lifelong partner and is finally settling down. Equally, I’m delighted that I can contribute that little bit to her wedding.

I can’t wait for her day to come – I’m sure she will be one pretty bride, and I already can imagine her walking down the aisle in church!

Congratulations, dear friend! It is an indescribable feeling to be able to have the chance to witness you getting married. It seems only like yesterday two ignorant brats were in school playing or when we were working part-time job together after our ‘O’ levels! Gosh!

Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and I sincerely wish the both of you eternal happiness and joy… The journey is going to begin – have fun! :)

“Running & Philosophy”

“Running & Philosophy” by Michael W. Austin was a book that I picked up sometime back after I stumbled across it accidently at MPH. As the title implies, it is a book that ties running with philosophy together, exerting that they have a lot in common. And yes, I was impressed by the way Michael puts across some of his ideas… Definitely not an easy book to read, and I have still a long way from finishing this book, but what’s new? Ha…

Here is one small extract about life must be lived as play from this 200+ odd pages of book:

“Most runners don’t run to lose weight or get fit, they run because they enjoy it. It becomes a huge part of their life, of who they are. It was only in running that George Sheehan felt “whole and true and living at the peak of my being”. And such moments of peak contentment are usually times of “absorbedness.”

People are absorbed when they are totally into what they are doing, totally engrossed in the present task and the present moment. Feeling of contentment that often accompanies moments of absorbedness illustrates a fundamental insight about happiness that philosophers call “the hedonistic paradox”. The paradox is this: usually the happiest people are not those who pursue happiness directly, who make happiness their goal. Rather, the happiest people tend to be those who experience happiness as a by-product of other things they value and enjoy, such as loving relationships and engaging in challenging and rewarding work.

Runners understand the hedonistic paradox because they live it daily. They find happiness through sweat, sacrifice, and struggle. To most non-runners this is a complete enigma. Cars pass a lonely runner on a solitary road – lungs burning, knees aching – and the passengers shake their heads. Why anyone would want to do that, they wonder. The runner, in turn, barely notices the car. For her, reality is this road, this moment, this feeling. Soon she will be back in the world of deadlines, piano practices, and endless loads of laundry. But for the moment there is nothing but his road, this feeling of wholeness, the Zen-like effortless effort. For her, journey and destination have fused. Success is now."

《King and I》

King and I is the latest korean drama series that I am watching recently. 3 sets of DVDs, a total of 63 episodes, costing more than $100 for the full set! :O Nonetheless, it is still an interesting drama, of cos!

All about eunuchs - in fact the focus is on them, king and women (hopeless!), power, the darkness of politics and the struggle... Ya, I know - I'm turning into a Korean drama addict.

Old and older

I hit the big 3 two days ago… A few of my girlfriends who had crossed that hurdle much earlier this year were curious how I felt on that day for they were pretty much depressed and grouchy on their own birthdays as it signifies that they are no longer young; that youth has zoomed past them without they achieving much. Well, I hate to disappoint, but I chose to view it differently - I celebrated the fact that I am in another phase of my life, that it is only going to get better, more exciting and enriching…

I could be indulging in self misery for I caught flu somehow, with a bad throat, throbbing headache and occasional running nose since Sun afternoon… But my mood shouldn’t be dampened just over this, isn’t it? Thus, on Sunday evening I visited the Night Safari for the first time, and on Monday afternoon ice skating - an activity that I had not done for ages!

Ya, I admit that I am a mountain turtle for I had never been to Night Safari all these years, but now I had… and I enjoyed the fun and experience… I had butterflies in my stomach when I stepped into the skating rink after about 8 long years. I struggled for my balance as I moved inches forward awkwardly, and I feared for my bones if I did fall. But, just like any other new activities, we learn by experiencing and get better by practicing. At the end of 2 hours, I was more relaxed and had some little fun with all those young kids… Haaa… What a way to signify new experiences for me! Of course, none was possible without Dan. So I thank him for going the extra mile to make my day.

The 1st person to wish me Happy Birthday via sms on my actual day was someone once very important in my life. I had picked up heaps from him– his wits, creativity and confidence during our growing up years. He is a day older than I am, so I figured there is no way that I can ever forget his birthday...

Of course, I had some jolly good friends who took effort and spent money to buy me pressies and/or made the time to have dinners or lunches with me. There were many others too who sent through their good wishes via phone calls, smses or emails. On this very day of my birthday, I know I am blessed to be surrounded by so many people who love me for who I am...

Another phase of life for me… Let it be forward moving, purposeful and meaningful… I am and will be sourcing for that.

ECP run...

We did another evening run at East Coast Park last night. There is supposedly to be quadthalon happening at ECP this morning, hence we decide to alter our Sun morning ECP run…

All I can say is it was totally exasperating that we caught on the rain last night again! It turned out to be a race against the rain. The sky was already showing signs of possible rain when we started, but I thought we couldn’t be so down on our luck once again. But I was too early in my conclusion for we felt small raindrops after our mid-point U turn. We picked up our pace for we certainly did not have the desire to end up like the last time where it was a storm and we were stranded for an hour.

The drizzle got bigger as we pressed on, forcing us to go faster; yet, my mind and body did not seem to be in sync. I struggled to the end point, with my lungs grasping for air and legs giving way. What a complete torture.

Heaven loves to make sport of people certainly, for the rain completely went into hiding after my bath… Thanks mate… DUH. No more evening run at ECP for me anymore!

Dark Clouds...

As more unravels, the bigger the mess the entire financial market seems to be in… No one knows how deep and widespread the trouble can go further, neither can anyone identify the solution to it… Dark clouds loom the whole industry. *Sigh*

Some friends of mine had caught on the heat – they have been slogging till wee hours for the past two weeks and presumably in the next few weeks too. It must have been a complete nightmare for them, as issues are mountainous and the end seems nowhere near… I can certainly feel their built-up stress…

Certainly not an easy time for many of us… Hope the dark clouds will soon pass, and the sun will be shining once more. Preserve on, my dear friends.

F1 First Night Race

The Singapore Formula One Grand Prix was an absolutely exciting one. The experience of watching the race up close beat watching it on TV or anywhere else. The onsite mood was fantastic, with real time actions, deafening sounds and unexplainable trills!

It was a drama-filled race yesterday with Ferrari’s Massa started from pole but a disastrous mistake at the pit stop sent our jaws dropping – he drove off with the fuel hose still attached to his car!! Although the crew eventually managed to pull off the hose at the end of the pit lane, all was too late. Adding on to that, he was given a 10 seconds drive through penalty. He only managed to finish 15th in place.

The highlight was Spain’s Fernando Alonso, the two-time world champion, as he won the first race in a year. The Renault driver started from 15th as his car ran into mechanical problems on Sat qualifying session. However, in the mayhem of pit lane dramas, crashes and safety cars, Alonso took the lead at Lap 34, and finished first. Germany’s Nico Rosberg finished second, with championship leader Lewis Hamilton in third…

I certainly had great fun there last night – no, I wasn't in the exclusive (and costly) Paddock or in any other suite, I was only at Connaught Grandstand, but it's a brand new experience which beats seeing the race on TV or hearing it a hundred times from someone! :)

Memories...

It was past midnight when I heard this song by Michael Jackson in the car today. I could not help but to bring myself back to nearly five years ago, when we decided to use this song “Heal the World” as a torch pass song. I remembered walking into the packed room with lit candles with my mates singing this song, reaching out and touching hearts. Our message to the people in the room - make the world a better place to live in. I also have vivid memories of holding the torch and passing it on.

Time has flied certainly. It seemed only like yesterday when it happened. Nevertheless, it was a marked turning point for me then… If not then, I would not be where I am today. So am I glad that I went through it? Yes, of course.

And such coincidence today is my captain’s birthday too!! It has been 5 years… but I do remember that he was the one who rooted for me when I went for my interview presentation. I was getting really nervous and it was his sms that gave me confidence. I could also recall that I was feeling very disappointed with myself in a job, and he was there to give me strength…

We just had steamboat buffet dinner together… and hope he would like the watch… Happy birthday.

Bad news

First, it was Lehman Brothers filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, followed by a last attempted deal to sell off its Asia business to Barclays.

Then, there was Merrill Lynch absorbing more than US$40 billion in write-downs and its rescue buyout by Bank of America.

Then it was the giant AIG asking for a loan, which US Fed Reserve is close to finalizing a US$85 billion loan in exchange for a nearly 80% stake in the company.

British bank HBOS, which is Britain’s biggest provider of home loans, is in deep trouble on the stock markets amid the crisis engulfing global financial markets, and it is reported that Lloyds TSB is in talks to buy it over.

And there is speculation whether Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley are the next on the line.

The whole financial market is in turmoil. Where is the end? It is yet to be known, but it clearly spells trouble. Any job in the financial sector can be very unstable – I had witnessed it first hand already. Better to be on the toes now and don’t assume own indispensability or job security.

May I be blessed.

Full Moon

Have you taken a peek outside your window tonight? Isn’t the moon exceptionally beautiful today? It’s mid- autumn festival today – a day that Houyi visits his wife, Chang-e accordingly to a myth, thus it is tonight that the moon is full and beautiful.

Since sometime back, I never fail to admire the beauty of the full moon, no matter where I am… and every time, the moon leaves me in awe of her charms – sexy at times, pretty at times, captivating in other times. She always seems so near, but I know she is beyond my reach, meant to be only appreciated from far… But perhaps that is how it is supposed to be. Getting too near will mask the intriguing beauty and upset the whole equilibrium…

Still loving it nonetheless.

My Fri

I was supposed to be out shopping, and then I was supposed to be out celebrating a friend’s birthday over dinner on Friday evening. It was long awaited Friday, and it was a time to let down the hair and had some fun out there. But I turned down everything at last hour.

I ended up getting home before 7pm. After settling down, I did a simple dinner to fill my stomach and poured myself a glass of white wine to go along, while watching my DVD. The week proved to be a little more than I could take, and somehow it had reached a tipping point on such a Friday. I decided that I needed the time away from the bustling crowd, let my emotions clear a little and had some quiet time for myself. I did not think I would do quite well if I were out trying to make merry and entertain my friends. By the way, I really had no patience to wait for 2+hours before meeting my friends that day.

And yes, I did feel better thereafter. Somehow, the emotions found their own space and settled down better… Afterall, I was given enough space – I had the whole house to myself for that few hours before bedtime. :P

Korean Drama Addict

Did I say that I am watching another Korean drama recently? I had been watching it for the past 5 weeks already!

I watch a few episodes every day, day in, day out, and the weeks just fly past! We are talking a total of 167 episodes, not mentioning that I started off from Episode 43 instead of the first… But I finally got to the last episode last weekend! Oh, I should also say that I have just started from the very first episode today too. :-P

My ex-staff got the DVD for me on his last day. I asked him causally before if he got them at home since his mom and sisters were Korean OST addicts. This OST was showing in Channel U at 7pm everyday, and it aroused my interests when I caught a few episodes during days that I was back home real early from work. Certain dialogues and acts were really hilarious, you see…

It is a simple (and light hearted in some sense) drama series – it features the love, struggles and triumphs of a nineteen years old girl whom initially came to Seoul to get married, how sincerity can move all the people around her, and the dailies of two families including the disputes, arguments and the intense love, care and concern.

There aren’t big ups and downs or extremely drama stuff in this OST, yet it is so heartwarming that one will inevitably be very touched by all the simple acts and displays of deep affection and love.

Simplicity is beauty; sincerity and perseverance pay off; bliss is doing what you love doing with the support of your loved ones… these are my learnings from this 《19岁的纯情》.

Thots

Sometimes the journey just isn’t as smooth as I want it to be
When I thought it can go a little more stable
Life would just has its way of springing up surprises (or shocks) for me
Jerking me out of my daydream, throwing me off my chair, leaving me bewildered and lost
I hate to get complacent or comfy – that usually spells trouble for me as proven many a time
I'd rather be on my toes so that I am always prepared for the unexpected
There are always times I wonder why so…
Why me, why must it happen, why is it tougher for me than for others...
Unlimited questions of whys
Yet, I learn to tell myself that things happen for a reason…
For me to learn, to grow, to make a better me in the future
I need to view every incident and experience in a more positive light
Yet the process is not easy – it doesn’t happen with a snap of my fingers
Perseverance will get me to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I understand fully
I just need to hang on…
And trust that things will eventually fall in place for me, as it always did…
Faith, stay here with me.

What a run!

This was my run at ECP yesterday night...

650pm: Started running after Fort road, after all the blocked roads in preparation for Ironman on Sunday. Ran like a snake, trying to run through all the people. Everyone seemed to be there; the air only smelt of BBQ food.

800pm: U-turn at National Sailing Centre.

805pm: Gushing strong wind, dark red sky... The weather not looking good! Couldn't even quite run in one straight line due to the strong wind! Is Tsumani coming, I thought to myself... We started to double up our running pace while muttering to the sky to wait till we were back at the start point.

840pm: Stopped for a break and a can of Pocari at the toilet. Shit, the sky din wait for us -it was raining cats and dogs within 2 mins. But we were just about 3km from end point! &#*@! Toilet shelter area started to get really crowded with all the people trying to squeeze for a space to avoid the rain.

930pm: Too long a wait, legs giving way already and getting very impatient. Rain finally seemed to be smaller. Decided to run back in the rain. After all, we did not have a choice – the car was at Fort road carpark!

930pm onwards: Gosh, legs were stiff like sticks after stopping for about an hour. The road was wet and slippery, and the wind was icy cold! Couldn't see properly with my glasses – it was coated with rain drops! Yet, the only way out was through, so gotta keep running. Otherwise, it would only take forever to reach my destination.

940pm: Ran through the Big Splash carpark and ran on the road side towards Fort road carparo as we wanted to avoid crawling through the muddy water-filled grass patches due to partthereof pavement blocked for the Ironman event. All the cars that passed by us then must be thinking we are seow!

10pm: Cleaned up, bathed, make nice.

1030pm: Finally dinner time at KFC… Such sinful stuff at late night, but could we care more than just to satisfy the growling stomaches? By the way, the rain didn't stop even at 11pm. In fact, it was only bigger! :-O

--------
130am: Bedtime!

Learnings

I have learned.

Learnt to view the world with a different set of lens that is serving
Learnt to open up my heart to listen and receive
Learnt to be thankful who and what are in my life
Learnt to understand, accept and love myself
Learnt to stretch beyond for spectacular results
Learnt to take different actions to create different result
Learnt to let it out and let it go
Learnt to make a stand and make a difference
Learnt to understand life and appreciate it
Mostly importantly, learnt to learn and re learn continuously.

I'm still in the process of learning, as ever.

My Retribution

Words should never be said too early…
For it was a nightmare for the rest of the week…
Suddenly, all things were urgent…
Heaps of meetings, tons of things to do, countless of errands…
My meals were messed up, my breathing seemed to come to a halt…
My retribution uh?!
Uhm!

I am sick

Long story short here ah.. I got an illness recently, or rather from start of this week. Okee, I do not know "start of this week" is fact or a belief to start off with. Maybe it has been there all along! Haaa…

I am down with lan(3) duo(4) bing(4), i.e. lazy disease. I think it is a super strong virus attack and it is cancerous. I can feel my limps rotting away, my liver and lungs decaying, and my brain and heart dying…

Although there may be mountain high of work piling up, but what can be so urgent that the company would collapse if I dun address it? Does anyone bother? Does it matter? What for and for who if I put in extra effort to go the extra mile? Can’t I get away with it like all other people who are experts in these taiji and “smoking” martial art?

Thus this is the current state:

Do not feel like doing, do not feel like pushing it through, do not feel like bothering… Dun know, dun care, dun bother…

How long is this going to last? I dunno… I have yet to get any inspiration (read: identifying the root of the problems) from my run in gym yesterday night. I thought I might... Uhm.

So bottom line: let's wait and see – either I get killed for my lazy disease or I may get a miraculous cure?!


P.S: It is irritating when I know clearly that the price to pay can be very high… but then again, I am too lazy to think through this as well.

Singapore won Olympics Silver Medal

Finally, it was a silver medal for Singapore after 48 long years. Li Jiawei, Feng Tianwei and Wang Yuegu came in 2nd in the women's table tennis team event yesterday at the Olympics. It was a proud moment to see Singapore flag hung up high with China and Korea.

It was expected that the girls would walk away with silver. After all, they were playing against China top rated team, consisting of the World's number 1 and 2 players. Of course, some also had commented that it was just a game of China against China - these 3 girls and their coach were all born and trained in China and recruited to Singapore for their paddling skills.

This controversy of foreign born players vs true blue local Singaporean players will not end just yet; however, this silver does set the standard for our local athletes. They finally have something to emulate - it is a hard slog to get to the top, but if you remain dedicated to your sports, your reward will eventually come. The lesson to be learnt is tremendous, though we undeniably still have a very long and tedious journey in sports.

Simply Runs...

Isn't it amazing what people take away from the same incident? Different people realise and learn different things, some people never did learn. How interesting. The depth of understanding, what is it dependent on? Is that a factor of intellect, mindfulness, life experience, or a willing to be open??...

I did an evening run at ECP after work last Friday. The distance covered was modest - only 10km, but I enjoyed the run itself. It was my first evening run at ECP, thus it was a brand new experience for me. I enjoyed the breeze, scenery, jog, companions and the experience itself. I got new jogging partners for that night, but that could possibly be the first and last time that the 3 of us were doing it together...

It was a long story leading up to the run itself. It started off as a simple consensus to do a run together. Then some issues cropped up - we obviously had different points of views to this pact. Then there was the logistics challenge - where to run, and how to handle our barangs…

In the end, we decided on ECP that very evening, and I was glad we picked that place. Ignoring all the issues that cropped up along the way (and some were not and still have not been addressed properly), I still had fun last Fri… Oh, I should add that my upper thighs were aching thereafter! *rolled eyes*

So, is that run an end or a means to an end? We all did what we agreed upon, i.e. the run on 080808. Yet, what is important - the actual run, or the preparation towards it? And what comes after the run? Does it stop and end there? Or it signifies the start for more to come? Is it just about completing that run or it encompasses more complex issues underneath – the purpose of it, and a reflection of who and how you are? It is funny how different each of our focus point and point of views can be. It shows how uniquely different we human beings can be.

Whichever, I did another run at ECP on Sunday morning. After the experience on Fri, I decided to alter my Sat night running routine and try out a different route under different conditions. I must be a mountain turtle indeed, for I was surprised to see so many runners on a Sun morning there! Haaa… (U see, I am never an early riser on weekends!). This time round, I covered slightly longer distance, 16km or so with Dan. Somehow the changes in the conditions made the run stretchier than usual. In the same run, I realised that I ought to train more under the sun so that my body can get used to heat, which slows me down a lot.

More runs to be made happen at ECP going forward, be it after work or on weekend mornings, thanks to Fri trial run.

No NDP

Yes, I may be one of those few who super duper love to be at the National Day Parade itself… It is of so much fun to be there! The mood is contagious!

Yet, I got no ticket to be there this year. :( So as a matter of silent protest, I ended up sleeping from 7pm to 830pm on Sat night… till the whole NDP was over and done with…

Did I say that I was unable to fall asleep at night due to the late nap? Duh.

只是小毛病吗？

Extracted partthereof again:

每个人。。。自然也有不想被看到的阴暗面。这些阴暗面说不定连自己都未曾察觉。。。 你不去面对这些阴暗面，因为你不喜欢这样的自己，但是躲避并不表示它不存在。工作、家庭、人际交往中的很多问题，说不定都有“阴暗面”作祟。

这“阴暗面”就像个小鬼，时不时出来发飚，很难克服。

“千里之堤，溃于蚁穴。”很长很长的堤坝，因为小小蚁虫的啃噬，最后也会被摧毁。所以不要小看自己的小毛病，这些小毛病的积累可能会使你的人生毁于一旦。

进行“内窥镜”的过程是痛苦的，就像面对自己坏习惯的过程中，难免会挣扎一样。但自我反省。。。只要你愿意，随时可以进行。

Finally, some photos

Oh yes, finally a few photos here of my recent Manado dive trip. :)

Spearing mantis shrimp, do not mess with it for its pincers are powerful enough to break your diving mask!


Coconut octopus... Why does it like to squeeze itself into such a tiny place?


Emperor shrimps - female and male. Female is always domineering - bigger in size certainly!


Can you tell that it is a spider crab?! :-O I tried so hard to make sense out of it!


Nudibranch!


Frogfish, with full of warts. Ha.


Finally, a nice shot of the mandarinfish after 10min of waiting and shooting!


Banggai Cardinalfish, found only at 2 places, one of which is Lembeh Straits


Leaf frogfish, lotsa colour variation - pink, purple, white etc.


How do you like your teeth to be cleaned by cleaner shrimps?

My thots for the day

Sometimes, I think I am a fool, and being made a fool of.

Am I too gullible? Do I look dumb? Am I easily brushed aside?

Or am I puerilely stupid enough to believe you?

Do not give empty commitments that I plainly (and naively) hold your words to.

Do not promise me something that you have no intention of delivering.

It is not about how big or small the agreements are – every action speaks especially when it matters.

Give me that a few times, and you know I would totally erase you off.

No more please

Ok, I had lost sleep for the past two nights. It took me a long while to toss and turn in bed before I drifted into my sleep.

It must be the 3 cups of O'cha that I had at Iciban on Sun; I still cannot find the culprit for last night. Maybe I was getting too anxious to fall asleep - it was already past midnight and I know what a torture it would be for me when I woke up next day early morning. Maybe I had too much soft drink yesterday night, i.e. too much caffeine again?? *scratch head*

Whichever, no more of this please… I am already a walking zombie most mornings. :(

"The Last Lecture"

Have you read "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch? I had... with thanks to DT who t-loan the book to me.

Randy was diagnosed with metastasised pancreatic cancer, and he gave this "last lecture" to inspire people to live to their fullest, and to leave behind some teaching messages for his three young kids. A recording of it was uploaded on YouTube and millions had viewed it. He is also the co-writer of the book, which is still on the top list of best sellers.

The Last Lecture was an easy-to-read book - all about realising your dreams, how each step leads you to where you want to be, injecting creativity and having fun along the way.

I had joy reading this book, just that I found it to be a little too dry at the last few chapters, where the content was getting a little too short to drive across thoughts meaningfully. If there is a need to compare, I would still prefer "Tuesdays with Morrie" - a moving book that show profound insights about living life to the fullest. Yet, there should be no comparison, isn't it? It is just a different style of writing.

Randy just passed away last Friday at an age of 47. Grab that book if you have not read it, or view the video on YouTube if you want to.

Madness?

Yes, I have signed my life away again for Standard Chartered Singapore Run 2008…. Past year runners still have 30% additional discount off the early bird registration fee… Ya, right… such good deal, isn't it? *cynical snort*

Certainly, "life is an enrolment game". Cos the best news is I managed to drag 2 other people to be with me in this Dec 7 run… Did you see my devil horns? Together we should suffer… Muahahaa…

Depending on how you see it, it is time to create another new relationship between time and result:

1. Every run like this means improving the previous recorded timing and thus result, or

2. Three months is a short time to train for a marathon if you have been lazy in running or you have not been running longer distance at all… Is it stretchy? Yes. Is it possible? Yes… So it is an achievable goal afterall (with lotsa sweat, pain and effort!). More time doesn't mean you will be more prepared or ready anyway. Quoting Adidas "Impossible is nothing"…

Oh yes, I must be insane...

Back from Manado

8 days in Manado just zoomed past… Time seems unstoppable..

We spent 6 days diving, with 5 days around Bunakan and 1 day in Lembeh Straits. Lotsa of beautiful wall dives around Bunakan National Park, but we were just drifters - we drifted along with the underwater current from wall to wall after awhile…. We were totally dependant on the dive guide to find the water creatures for us… Oops… haha...

It was fantastic muck diving at Lembeh… We all love Lembeh for all the weird creatures spotted. Oh yes, we felt more sense of achievement as we went around spotting heaps and heaps of creatures by ourselves. Too bad that we could not make another day trip there – we could not make up the minimum number of eight to go. Otherwise, we could only be more thrilled.

I must say that Eco-divers are really professional in their dive trips - well organised, experienced, thoughtful and hassle-free. I have never seen a dive operator that runs dives so smoothly before. All thumbs up for them!

I took hundreds of underwater photos! You see, I am not a steady photographer, neither do I have a solid camera, so of course I need to take more shots of each so that I have higher chance of getting it right. *shrug*. Some shots are really crappy, I must say… And well, I am laid back - I did not screen through all of my photos nor did I try to organise them properly yet though I am back for 3 days already… So no photos for viewing till I get down to doing them...Opps again.

All we did during the past one week were eat, sleep, dive + talk cock… (Too much eating in fact...No wonder my weighing scale seems to be giving way...) Totally relaxing... Indeed, my companions were hilarious. I simply could not stop laughing most of the time. And yes, each of us committed many stupid yet funny hiccups during our gearing up for dives that we just fell flat on the floor laughing at one another. We are new divers la… haaa….

I cannot wait for the next holidays to come... Should start planning now. Where is my calendar? :P

Manado

In a week time, I am heading down to Manado, Indonesia. What else but for diving? I am very burnt out recently, thus this break is badly needed.

Will be staying at Tasik Ria, and diving with Eco Divers based there. We will be making trips down to Lembeh Straits as well, as that place is well known for their macro life. It will be a pity to miss it when Lembeh is so close to Manado.
.
Another week of eat, sleep and dive! Sun-kissed beaches, fascinating underwater life, relaxing days + 3 other bubbly fun diving kakis!

I can’t wait! :)))

To do or not to do?

To do or not to do? $38 for 21km…(super price inflation compared to only $12 two years ago!!) And today is the last day to decide before the price jerks up to $48… (H*ly Sh*t!)

I am talking about the Singapore Bay Run on 24 Aug.

Sat - Sentosa Day

I spent my Sat at Sentosa… My bro got 4 tickets at his company at a discounted price. So I just tagged along. I mean what is fun without me around? Ha…

So we watched the 4D movie, experienced the simulated ride at Cinemax, took the Sky Ride twice, as well as the Luge rides… Woohs, the luge rides were fun, just that the distance was a bit too short to make us feel shiok.

Oh yes, there was some commotion while we were queuing at Cinemax. For some reasons, the whole Sentosa was packed with Indians that day. That aside, there was a big crowd at Cinemax and the weather was really hot, and all of us had been queuing for 45min just to get into the Cinemax. So we had this bunch of inconsiderate Indians just in front of us. They were big, fat, noisy and simply rude. I think all of our limits were tested when they simply waved to their kakis (not 1, not 2, but a total of 6 of them!) and asked them to cut the queue when they were at the entrance… Well, for those who have yet to know, one of my hottest buttons is for someone to cut my Q just right in front of me. I would bite off their heads regardless of who they are. So, yes, they got it. I was loud enough to make them feel embarrassed though they still attempted to justify that they got a kid, and they were there all along at the side (that was definitely NOT true). However, heaven was on our side - the people attempting to cut Q did not have the tickets with them. So much for their intelligence. All thumbs down for their rudeness, inconsiderate behaviour and their high-and-mighty air… I wonder if they were ever bothered by the disgusted looks of the others in the queue. But of course, we did not allow such people to spoil our fun at Sentosa…

The best part - I fell into a slumber after a super duper unhealthy feast of chicken wings, fried bee hoon, luncheon meat etc for dinner… The time then was 7.30pm. By the time I regained FULL conscious, it was 8.30am… the next day. A total of 13 hours of sleep! Another record-breaking sleep!!! OMG!

My lunch today

I attended a networking lunch cum presentation at noon today. It was a networking session meant for marketers in the financial industry. Arrghh, I do hate sessions like this… But well, my boss requested me to join… so I did not have much a choice.

Aside all the stuff that I resist at an occasion like this, I must say I was very glad to have attended this presentation. It was… such a moving one. Yes, it was supposed to be a presentation from this guy whom has been through Bali bombing, the Tsunami etc, so it was supposed to be a presentation on how you can strive in adverse situation and changes, yet still able to deliver results in the corporate world.

Yet, this Peter, all he touched on was how he was at the Tsunami (he is a forensic, assisting them in helping to identify the bodies) - how all these people had been, showed us video clips of the actual situation and the orphans, some stories from him. Peter was indeed captivating - he moved many of us on the personal level, especially those parents. You could see tears in some of those eyes when you cast your sight across the 4 round tables…

Peter brought up a few important points during his 40mins presentation, on “clear objectives and purposes”, “results matter, not excuses”, “leadership”, “leadership without authority”, as well as reaching out on a personal level to get people moving and making choices to stop or to go on… At the last of his slide, he got this: “You only have ONE go.”

To me, it was a very in-depth presentation that overtly highlighted about the less fortunate, being very clear on the objectives and delivering the results. On the 2nd level, it touched on how we, in the corporate world could apply those… On the deeper level, it is a presentation that cleverly and covertly brings together the whole lesson of life itself, about how you need to be clear about your compelling desire or purpose, so that you can get through both the good and bad days, making choices, getting to where you want to go, about team work, team players, about reaching out to the less fortunate and that we only have ONE life – so cherish today.

Such a powerful presentation, such a great life lesson… I am totally humbled by him.

My 25 Blessings

I have been thinking quite a fair bit recently…(But then again, some people whom know me intimately will say when did I ever stop thinking?! Lolz…)

I suppose human beings can be greedy at times – good and want better, have and want more… I always think it is a thin line between contentment and laid back, being competitive and creating more results, determined and stubborn… The only difference is the space you are operating from…

Thus, I want to count my blessings today…so that I reground myself to appreciate all stuff that are happening in my life now… to focus on the positives, not the negatives… to have my energies on what are working, and not to dwell on what are not…

My list of 25 blessings:

1. I am still alive and kicking…
2. I am healthy and fit… in fact in a much better physical fitness than I was few years back
3. I have a loving man who takes care of me well and good
4. I have some quality friends who embrace me with grace and stand by me always
5. I am in a job with no micro managing boss
6. I can leave office by 6pm most of the days, and still see daylight when I reach home
7. My colleagues are generally ok and helpful
8. I have the luxury to sleep in late over the weekends
9. When my heart desires, I simply go for runs or swims
10. I always have a worthy companion who joins me in all the above activities
11. My parents have no major ailments that are that worrying
12. My brothers are grown up and can take care of themselves
13. I am close to my 2 brothers… we have fun together, pig out together, can raise our voices with one another and know that nothing is going to spoil the bonding…
14. I get to go on holidays many times a year
15. Able to dive and explore the deep blue sea are eye-opening and breathtaking experiences
16. I have fun loving travel companions who are forever interesting
17. To be able to admire the beauty of the clouds, sunrises, and sunsets…
18. I always trip and fall, but there are people who will reach out to hold me
19. I earn a decent income, enough to sustain my style of living
20. I do not have a high debt ratio
21. When I fall sick, I always get undivided attention from my man :P
22. At least my stubborn dad still listens to me, so I still have my ways around him
23. I do not need to do most of the housework… Haa
24. To have luxury for simple enjoyment such as the time to listen to all my favourite songs, be in my quiet space, read my books…
25. I always get to eat my favourite food and tibits!

YIPPEE!

My day...

Yup, sick. Fighting off a fever, sore throat… and apparently a cold since yesterday… I could feel my mucus back flowing down my throat! Icky! And that was what I told the doctor when I was there to see him in the later afternoon… and then I realized that I got blood in my urine... Apparently I was not dreaming though I initially thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Then I saw it the 2nd time, and the 3rd, and felt the burning sensation… and the urge to visit the Ladies even though I had just been there 5 minutes ago…

So I went back to the same doctor within an hour and did a urinary test to confirm that… Win!

So well, have been a really LON…..NNG time since I have had a fever. Usually that spells bad news for me – my body really cannot fight it off… But I have taken the pills and feeling much better now… The best news is I am still in office now, one of the rare few occasions that I am still in office after 7pm… But I am not exactly doing work now… I just need to wait for my transport to get me home. I am too exhausted to get onto the train and be a squashed up sardine.

Still alive and kicking certainly. And no need to come to work tomorrow. Hooray?! Haa….

From Socrates to Goleman: Some quotes

Below are some stuff that I came across. Yes, as usual, they caught my attention…

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“ The unexamined life is not worth living… know thyself.”

Socrates, 399 BC, Ancient Greek Philosopher

“He who does not remember the past is condemned to repeat it”

George Santayana, 1905, Spanish born US Philosopher

“If we are too busy, if we are carried away every day by our projects, our uncertainty, our craving, how can we have the time to stop and look deeply into our situation?"

Thich Nhat Hanh, Contemporary Buddhist Philosopher

“Emotional Intelligence begins with this trait (self-awareness). People with a high degree of self-awareness know their weaknesses and are not afraid to talk about them…”

“Self-awareness is defined as the ability to recognize and understand one’s moods, emotions and drives, as well as their effect on others”

Daniel Goleman, 21st Century Author

Self-awareness is the foundation upon which all growth and development is built. Only when you have developed a high sense of self-awareness will you be able to free yourself from your unconscious habits and begin to rediscover the ability to make conscious choices based on the needs of the situation you face.

It is our belief that we always need to grow. In order for growth to be present, we need to know from where to start. It is like any journey. You need to know where you are going but also from where you are setting out. Not where you think you are, but where you really are!

Letting go

A stretch it is
A limit it drags
Gone with the wind is ignoring
As the thoughts fondle louder

The only way out is through
Though pain is deep true
The door is only one:
Letting go

In the Room

There was no one particularly that I knew in the room. In fact all of them are strangers to me. It had been quite awhile since I had stepped inside too. However, as I walked around the room experiencing each and everyone of them in that 5mins, I was overwhelmed. My heart melted, and could not be helped but be totally touched. I knew they had done a lot of hard work over the past few days. They were at a different energy level with new realisation and understanding of themselves, ready to go out in life to create breakthroughs.

Being someone who had been through it many years back, I still could remember vividly how I was as I stood there with my eyes closed. It was an experience at least a 100x more powerful than the Basics for me. It shaped of how I am today - I did not change, but I built on a stronger foundation, and tap on my abilities in better forward moving ways. It opened up a new spectrum of perspectives for me, letting me see possibilities and soar to heights that I have never imagined. It was a journey that I never ever regretted.

Experience is something that money may not buy, something that cannot be expressed by just words. It could not be achieved simply by staring at books too – it is foolish and wishful thinking that all the understanding will sink in if you memorise every bit of it. Wanting to share this with the people that I know or close to, yet it is not always successful. Sometime I am puzzled; sometime I get impatient; sometime I just get totally fed up. Even for many who went through it, they did themselves enough disservice by not taking along with them what they need to or invalidating everything that they have experienced and understood. Quoting someone "some things cannot be taught, they got to be learnt", I agree with that.

It is not easy out there - it requires lots of personal effort, there is no magic about it. It is all about being open, making conscious and consistent effort each time and taking steps that are purposeful and serving. Learning is a continuous process.

Easier said than done.

<传说> MV

Be a little patient with the download. It is the ending song for 'The Legend' i.e.《太王四神记》. It is a indeed a nice song especially if you have been following the show... I must watch too much of the drama within too short a time that the song keeps repeating in my tweeny brain. And still must say that this OST is good, just that the ending is left a little hanging...

最好的距离

Extracted part thereof from what I read today:

兩颗心之间最好的距离，就好像一条橡皮胶。
捆绑得太紧，迟早失去弹性，落个断掉的下场。
拉得太远，橡皮承受不了压力，也会断。

适当的空间，给了双方足够的自由，
适当的距离，反而保证了一定程度的安全感。

相处的距离有伸有缩，即给了对方一定的空间，又可以很紧密地连在一起。

Sundown Marathon

The Sundown marathon was indeed challenging… 1st, the run flagged off at midnight. There was no sun to worry about, yet that was a timing that my body would go into a shutdown mode for sleeping.

2nd, the route was very stretchy, especially during 22-30km, where we were at the Bedok park connector before Bedok reservoir. The route was so narrow, and there were so many up slopes! The last 5km were not better either – the legs were almost giving way and yet it was a continuous uphill stretch. Think we climbed 3-4 overhead bridges during this run too.

3rd, I was having some gastric problems since Wed, and had in fact seen a doc for it. The stomach bloatedness acted up during the run, thus I was feeling so uncomfortable for the whole journey. And yes, I got stitches every now and then too! @#&^$~(@$*!

4th, because I ran like a tortoise, thus we got caught in the sudden downpour at our last 3km! And it was such a heavy rain that we couldn’t even quite see what was ahead... So we were drenched chickens when we crossed the finishing line, not to say that we queued in the rain to get the finisher medal and T-shirt… To add to misery, the dying rain suddenly turned full force again when we were struggling to crawl back to our car parked quite a distance away...

Thus I took a total of 6h 3min to finish the whole 42km. Not a fantastic timing at all, I know. I can only blame my own laziness in training… But well, at least I finished the run in one whole piece… Just do not know if my legs will still function tomorrow, and if my back and shoulders will ache like anything or not.

Jitters

Honestly, I am having jitters and so much conversation about the run tonight, that I am unsettled whole day long. But then again, OWTFGFIA (Oh what the f**k, go for it anyway!)…

Wish me luck that I would complete the run in one whole piece.

My week

A week just passed in a jiffy. Sometimes, I wonder what I have been doing… Everyday seems to be occupied, but what am I occupied with? Hmm…

Anyway, I am spending a lot of time this week glued to my TV, watching the Korean OST - The Legend. The 1st two episodes were just being broadcasted in Channel U last Sunday. I am hooked to it now, cos the plot is simply too exciting, and of course, Bae Yong Jun is too cool to be missed in this show!

What a Wed

Somehow, I am totally off track today. Suddenly, I seem to reach a tipping point that I could not take it any more… Just want to call it quits, enough of the rubbish, enough of trying to deliver, enough of trying to figure out what you want…

I have been very conscious of my being in my new workplace, and try to manage expectations, do my best, and deliver results. Yet, although there is no major issue today, I just got sick of doing and trying… It is one of the worst days here…

Maybe it is one of THOSE many days where my mood is haywired. You know, being woman (!!!)… Then again, maybe it is not out of sudden? The pressure must have been building up but I keep brushing it aside till I suddenly toppled over to realise that I have reached a limit.

Then again, it is always about continuing after crunch time, isn't it? Cannot just simply throw the white towel and walk out like nobody's business. It is about continuing and reaching the end point. Or so I thought. That is what I do in running, and this is what I learnt from my runs… haha..

Things will get better. My communication to the universe needs to be positive. I need to take some time to reground myself so that I am not dragged down by my moods… Too absurd a reason or excuse.

Add on

Oh, I forget to add to my post below that it may just take a single event like this to know which friends are worth keeping, and who are to be discarded into the garbage bin.

Some people are so into themselves that they forget about others and to be in contribution. They are those who will be around if there is fun, but can never be relied on when you need support. For this group of people, do not lament that others do not care a hoot about you. Before you complain, take a moment to reflect upon yourself first.

How disgusting.

Sad...

Wed marked a very sad day. One of my close friend’s mom passed away in the early morning. It was a sudden death as a heart seizure simply robbed her life in that split second when she collapsed onto the floor at the void deck below their block. HF was the only one with her then.

When I heard the news of the death over the phone, I was in total shock as I did not remember her mom to be in any serious illness. HF was sobbing so hard over the phone, and my heart went out to her. I know how that feels. And as she was such a close friend of mine, I could not help but feel very upset over her mom’s death too… I understand how hard it is for the family to accept her sudden departure.

I was at the wake on both Thu and Fri evening with different friends. Did I ever mention that I do not like to be at a wake? I hate the feeling generally in the air, I am afraid that I could not control my sadness... But as someone lending support, the last thing is to break down first.

The end of the journey for the mom, but the lives of family go on, and they gotta learn to cope without her. It would not be an easy time for them, but hopefully time should heal. There is little that I could do to make a big difference to HF in the meanwhile, but I supposed the least I could do is be with her when she just needs someone to be around.

Life is so fragile… You never know when it ends… That is why we cannot simply wait for tomorrow to do something that we always want to do or to show love to someone who is so dear to us…

More Photos

Cockatoo Waspfish. It is really tiny and thin that you can easily
miss it with all the sand and seaweeds.
The dive guide said it is rare to find this in Puerto wor!


Thorny seahorse. Notice his big stomach? He is pregnant!!


Zebra moray eel. Spotted it with nemo and actually shrimps.
One of my best and fave shots taken during this trip.


This giant frogfish was found during a deep wreck dive!
It's facing left, if you could spot its tiny eye! Always gd with camouflage!


Thin ghost pipefish. Pic was taken at a deep dive too.
Saw many different pipefishes at Puerto actually.

Random Thots

Sometimes, my thoughts run wild… U know, how random thoughts are and u expand on a topic…

Nevertheless, this thought came to mind before I drifted into sleep yesterday night that I am a bad woman, for everything that I am and am not…

For people that have been loving me, I may not have done enough and may have hurt them wilfully… For some people that I ought to ignore, I am too soft even for my own comfort at times. Some actions are only right, but I lack courage. Some things are crystal clear, yet I hold back.

Simply, what you see is not what you may get…

Or a goodly apple rotten at the heart?

Nudibranches at Puerto Galera

Saw heaps and heaps of colourful nudibranches at Puerto Galera... They left me in awe of their beauty and their vast variations - seemingly the same yet not the same...

I'm certainly a novice in underwater photography... and my camera is given by my dear friend... I took lotsa photos though some turned out to be really crappy :( ... But who cares, the underwater beauty is so hard to resist...

I dunno...

I had a sms “conversation” with someone yesterday after I was back from Puerto Galera.

I tried to take a very neutral stand, for I should not judge, and ought not to impose my views, especially to someone like him...

Below is the conversation thread:

Him: Hows things? I am pretty all messed up. Haha.

Me: Wat’s up, handsome?

Him: I, the self professed faithful husband fell in love with a girl from China. Haha. Broke off but my heart is crushed.

Me: (being sarcastic here, wonder if he got it…) Den it’s not abt faithful anymore. Lotsa temptations out there, I supposed. All done. So it’s abt what’s next.

Him: Back to normal? But it is not the same anymore. I don’t know what’s wrong? Is it me or us? Have I become numb to my wife? Anyway I am humbled by my own failure.

Me: It can never be the same. How can it be? I guess it’s not impt who’s it. E importance is what’s going to happen after this. Feelings can be transient. Marriage is all about responsibility and commitment thereafter. U decide what u want to do with it. Time will lighten a clouded mind.

Him: Thanks for ur concern. I still want my wife n kid. But what disturb me is that I really was serious. So much for my “love”.

... ... ...

Few issues here:

1. So much about being faithful, especially for those who keep saying that they are. The ugly truth is happily ever after is only a fairy tale?

2. When the feeling of love dies, what is next? Can stale feelings be revived? Or it should be ignored? Or that is a natural course that ought to be accepted? Is there a better way? Or another way?

3. Let’s put aside issues such as we are talking about a China woman here, who is the initiating party or who gives in to feeling or temptations. The point is the man will still choose the wife and the kid at the end of it all. The thing is they already know that before they jump into the other relationship. So much for their self professed “serious love” in it.

Most men are only in for a fling, be it for sex, fun, or just simply want to prove that they are still attractive… The selfish self wants to have the cake and eat it - keep the woman at home, family intact and have fun out there at the same time... So if the 3rd party is in for the real thing, then she is just asking for trouble and more trouble, for at the end of the day, no one is going to sympathize with her.

Men… women… relationships… bothersome… yet, we cannot do without them… such complexity.

At times, I wish I'm blind and oblivious. Ignorance is bliss.

Yes, my holidays...

In 12 hours time, I will be boarding the plane heading to Manila... So doing last minute packing now of cos...

And in the meanwhile:

MO is down with flu today... the flu bug is in the air, and it is so potent that one can be down for many many days... hope that he will take care of himself, and have a speedy recovery... Otherwise no more fun for him for at least the next few days...

Just a few more days to WF's bday too. Hereby wishing her a early birthday here first, and hope that she will have a fun-filled day on her birthday next Mon...

Oh yes, my dear RC is staffing Advance. Another powerful stand for the people around. Salute him for his willingness to go an extra mile and make a difference for people. Rock the city, Captain. Believe in yourself, and trust your heart. I know you can…

First Break for the Year

Finally, I can count down now... 2 more working days before I head off to my holidays… My first break for the year! Visiting Puerto Galera in Philippines… well, to do diving of course!! After much planning, this is finally happening!

Can’t wait… Sun-kissed beaches, deep blue sea, crystal clear skies, stunning natural beauty… 6 days of diving and more diving… 8 days of relaxing and more relaxing…

Time to let down the hair, to be with the nature and fishes, and it can be a good time to reflect and take stock too… Or perhaps, the best is simply just to be present in each and every moment...

사랑한다면 如果爱

If you had been catching this Korean 《Get Karl! Oh Su Jung》OST on Channel U recently, then you should know this song pretty well...

Philosophy

On the branded 3-in-1 shampoo, bath and shower gel that I got as a gift, these are the lines found on the bottle

"Philosophy: life is a classroom. we are both student and teacher. each day is a test. and each day we receive a passing or failing grade in one particular subject."

"Grace: grace is compassion, gratitude, surrender, faith, forgiveness, good manners, reverence, and the list goes on. it's something money can't buy and credentials rarely produce. being the smartest, the prettiest, the most talented, the richest, or even the poorest, can't help. being a humble person can and being a helpful person can guide you through your days with grace and gratitude."

Philosophical enough, aren't they? No wonder the brand name.

Offsite

Finally, the offsite is over. It had been hard work for both Ed and I for the past weeks, trying to put together this event. It happened at The Sentosa Resort & Spa from last Sun to Tue. We got all business units’ heads in Asia attending this annual offsite, and one of my bosses basically called the shot to this offsite.

This was the first event that my bosses could literally witness how I was since I joined this company five months ago, it was also the first time that I got to see all the heads that I have been dealing with over emails… thus I took no chance with anything that happened around this event. I went through the event order over and over in my head, even just before I fell asleep each night as the dates drew near to ensure that I covered everything in perspective.

And phew, all went fine. Little hiccups all in all… The delegates were full of praises and my bosses were pleased. I should say that the teambuilding events like the rafting and cooking challenge added a lot of fun to the 3 days. Otherwise, it would be soo…oo dry… with all the numbers crunching, the strategic planning and discussions.

I am just glad that it is finally over, and the effort has paid off. Finally, I can breathe a little better…

蝴蝶

人生犹如蝴蝶的生命週期

从蛋、幼虫、蛹到蝴蝶

每个成长阶段都拥有自己的特色

不同的需求， 不一样的思维

每个学习过程 丰富了人生经验

经过重重波折， 也经过层层磨练

慢慢地从一只卑微的小虫

蜕变成漂亮又迷人的蝴蝶

Post Operation

Thanks to many who have shown concerns about my dad.

His operation went on longer than expected. The wait before, during and after operation was dreadfully boring… not to mention I was terribly hungry for lunch by 4pm…

He did have some minor complications during his operation, thus he is given additional eye drops and more antibiotics than other patients. “Most importantly, do not let his eye get infected” were the wise words given by the doc on his next day review. But basically, his condition was ok during the review.

My dad can be such a rebellious kid when it comes to serious stuff… that I may need to scream his head off so that he may listen… Maybe it is tough love, but it is all for him to get well soon and smooth...

May all be fine...

I am bringing my dad to NUH for his cataract operation tomorrow afternoon. It may seem to be a small operation to many... But for someone at the age of 72 with transient stroke history, coupled with high blood pressure and diabeties, it may not be that simple afterall. Yet, if his cataract is not removed, his left eye is almost blind already... :(

There will be lots of follow-up reviews thereafter... this means taking more leave to get him there... One review usually takes more than half a day… I am certainly a hospital regular.

Just hope that everything will go smoothly for him...

胡彦斌《巴黎铁塔》

Like this song somehow... Let the rest be unspoken.

Dreams again

Dreams do bug me…
Especially when they can be so real
Is it about an over rampant brain?
Or the subconscious needs to be heard?
Is it an indication on the state of mind?
Or is it purely too much thoughts into a random matter?
Perhaps I should take a Master degree in dreams interpretation or something…

Limping away...

*%&#&@*!~ I had been limping away the whole day long today. My left calf hurt big time when I tried to walk… The agony was tripled when going down a slope or flights of stairs… The pain intensified as the day passed… So I was cursing and swearing as I walked around from one place to another this whole afternoon .

It must be due to the insufficient and improper warming up cum cooling down yesterday before my run. Or is it purely just about my lousy chicken legs? It is always my left calf that seems ready to cramp whenever I went for slightly longer distance run… But oops, I did test my legs a little further today as I went for a swim at noon before going out.

Hope my calf will be better tomorrow. Otherwise, it will be awful feeling to be in my heels…

Too much alcohol?

Did I have a drop too much? Or is my body failing me?

I went for a team dinner at The Sage yesterday after the first day of the marketing offsite. Reluctant indeed as it was evening, and the time was supposed to be personal. Nevertheless, know that I am supposed to be “nice”, thus I accepted the invitation.

Cutting the long story short, I had a drink of course as I was with all the Aussies. Had a glass of champagne and some white wine while having dinner. I did not think I drank a lot, yet the aftermath was horrible…

I was in a perfect piece after the 3+h of dinner and on my way home. However, I was feeling bloated when home, so I decided to just lie down for awhile, only to fall asleep for an hour. Yet, I had such difficult time standing up in the bathroom that I needed to sit down on the floor for my shower thereafter… Even though I was totally sober, the alcohol seemed to have consumed me fully - my body was weak, breathing was laborious and legs ready to give way …

I quickened my paces in my night cleaning up routine, drowned myself with lots of water before falling onto my bed to close the chapter for the night.

First time that I ever felt this way after a drink… Wonder what chemical reaction had taken place in my body during dinner… Whichever, the feeling sucked. Think I better be good and stay off from alcohol…

What a Sunday!

The weather was perfect today - the sun was hiding behind the clouds most of the times, and the wind was in a fantastic mood... which made my cycling such an enjoyable activity.

We were planning for a Ubin cycling trip actually. However, the weather seemed to be going on a strike this morning, with the sky filled with dark cloud. The four of us stared into it and wondered if we should take the risk afterall.

After some hesitation, we went for a hearty brunch at Bukit Timah Food Centre and headed down to East Coast Park instead. As usual, the bike rental was for 2 hours, as 1 hour was thrown in free. We headed towards Bedok Jetty direction, and suddenly my brother saw the direction arrow that said "park connector to Bedok Reservoir". So well, the rest was history when we decided to carry our bikes down and up the 2 flights of stairs to get past the underground pass to try out the novel route.

A first attempt at this route, every other turn seemed to be as exciting as the last, with new discovery, experience and learning for the four of us... And we met with a park connector dead end on our way back to ECP that sent all of us grumbling as this meant detour. How can there be a dead end to a connector?!? Gosh.

In the end, a usual 2h leisure cycling turned into a 4h trip, with a U-turn made halfway at Bedok Reservoir Park. Our bums were painful, thighs were numb, with shoulders and arms red from the sun when we finally reached the rental shop to return our bikes...

Yet, it was thoroughly a fun-filled experience for each of us...

Again, it was about injecting something different into an activity that we usually do... to get a different high and satisfaction...

Good Friday

Good Friday... Definitely happy as it was finally a long weekend... A good break for resting and recharging... Badly needed...

I slept in, waking up in late morning... and, I took another 2h nap in the early evening too... Opps... Yup yup, I know I am a pig... Sleep, eat, sleep, eat...

Had dinner before attempting a 20km run in the night... The run ended past 12 midnight... What the hell.... It was a torture to do one such long run every weekend, cos it means lotsa sleeping and resting the next day to recuperate. Such a disciplined lifestyle suddenly huh???!!!

My brother and girlfriend timed themselves quite well as they reached just before we were done with the run. They are planning to spend the next few days of the long weekend over at our house... (Usually, that means lotsa pigging out and eating...) So we went out for supper thereafter before concussing shortly after reaching home.

Yes, the run was all gone to waste, as usual...

Yet another nightmare

Yes, another nightmare yesterday night...

It was so bad that I let out a scream before being jolted out of my slumber...

Gee, can I have no more of these? I need peaceful sleep.

问号

复杂的心情 难以形容
有些话 从未说出口
或许三言两语说不清
也或许一个眼神就能明白
这样的交叉点好吗？

My Nightmare

I had a terrible nightmare yesterday... And it has got me very perturbed today...

Of course, a dream being a dream, sometime there is no head no tail - people just appear in and out of the dream, the beginning may not have connection with the end, and there may not be any logical flow at all.

Yet, I do remember one scene very well - I was the vixen that created chaos in another man’s family. Apparently, his wife and young daughter followed him while he was out to have a rendezvous with me. I remembered we spotted a young girl behind us and he was frozen in actions at that instant moment. I only then realized that was his daughter, with his wife just a distance away.

I recalled in horror how the wife confronted me, sobbing how I had destroyed her family’s happiness, as the hubby never exactly cared about them anymore. I remembered vividly how flustered I was, trying to explain that it was never my intention to come in-between or to break up their family or to upset their status quo…Yet, the more I tried, the worse I made it to be. The feeling of guilt, fear and horror was so intensively overwhelming in the dream that I forgot if I was still breathing then...

And yes, the dream got to me, as when I recollected the intensity of my dream. I was such a wicked and selfish woman that simply disregarded consequences by being with a married man; I was such a foolish woman whom knowingly self-created such a big mess for myself... and the worst thing is I was out there to wave an invisible knife that caused hurt to another party... How I hate myself for that.

Icks, icks, icks...

Revamp...

It is time for a change...
I suddenly got sick of my blog page...
That I decide to do something about it...
Spending a bit of time and effort to get it polished up yesterday night...
Such that it is much more appealing... at least to myself...

Having the same thing for too long... get stale...
It is always essential to inject something different into the same stuff...
Otherwise, I would bore myself to death even others din...

Progression...is a natural tendency...
Stick in the mud cannot go anywhere...
As doing the same thing cannot yield a different result...

Oops, I am getting out of point again...

Whichever, I feel this new design is a better reflection of where I am now...
The desire for more holidays, enjoyment, relaxation, serenity and undisturbed peace...