:)

Minutes keep ticking by
Less than 2 days
Before it is a goodbye to 2006

Long weekend is here to stay
Celebration mood is in the air
2007 is close on the heels

Thanks for being around this year
Cos of your generous love, care and concern
Thus I am where I am today

Words I may not be good at
Expressions may be subtle too
Appreciation is heart felt though

May things be bright and rosy
For each of us
In the new year…
:)

A Slave to Technology

I certainly realised that I am a slave to the digital world. Due to the Taiwan earthquake that damaged the vulnerable undersea cable, I was unable to access to the internet for the past 2 days. I did my previous blog entry 3 days ago, only to realise that I could not log on to blog it! It was only today that I finally could log in to post it up.. Gosh..

With no net to surf, no email to check, or msn to chit chat, I seem so handicapped and bored... Such dependency on technology.... It is such a pity that the office email is still working, otherwise, at least, I did not need to work (so hard...) for the past 2 days. :P

Guess it is really hard to go back to using primitive methods all over again when I am so used to all these. Not to say I cannot, but is there a need to when obviously there is a more efficient and effective way of accessing to information, getting work done and getting entertainment?

Hmm, if there comes a day where there is no internet, no mobile communications, or worse still, no radio, no music, no TV, I wonder I will bore myself to death or not.

Hopeless, I indeed am... :P

Possessive...

The definition of Possessive according to Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary: the desire to own or dominate.

It is human being’s nature to desire owning the things we like, be it an item or a person, isn’t it? If not, then perhaps that item is not important to us at all?

However, this possessiveness is very delicate, especially in a relationship of any sort. How much is enough? How much breathing space is good? How much freedom is desirable? Asking too much, caring too excessively, wanting too much time together and it becomes suffocating and growth impeding. The other party then starts to resist all these so-called love and concern. Yet, if you do not show enough TLC, you end up with feedbacks that you do not care or you get questioned of their importance and place in your heart.

Some people need more space than others; some love to stick together… This is a scale, always waiting to be balanced; otherwise, the whole equation will be upset. It takes 2 persons’ expectations to be aligned, and deep understanding, sensitivity and trust to make this scale well-balanced.

I personally did commit this crime of being possessive before, not so much in actions but in thoughts, many a time. I remembered I was so close to this Uni girlfriend of mine that I wish that I am the closest friend in her life too, and I got a taste of sour grapes when I saw her close to her JC friends… How immature. Haha.

As I get on with life, I learn and shift my thinking. Just like I greatly value my own freedom, I respect others for their private space to do what they want. They are not my possessions, and should not be treated as one. Of course, I ought to be honest to acknowledge that I may have my own insecurity every now and then, questioning many things such as my importance and contributions. However, I will try to handle these conversations of mine internally with my best efforts. To impose, demand or restrict is too much and not right, not to say to practice double standards.

I am also fully aware that if the person that I love or care for is happy, I should be happy no matter I am a part of his or her life or not. But saint I am not, hence I must admit this principle is hard to follow at times. Of course, I rather to be the one hurt than to see the ones I love upset, as it is always easier to handle my own emotions than another person.

Many things in life are like sand: the harder I try to grab tight to it, the more it will slip through my fingers… Thus, I figure the best is to treasure what is right in front of me today, even though things may change tomorrow.

Outcome is perhaps important to me. Yet, no matter what the outcome may be, I am constantly reminding myself to enjoy the process and the moment called The Present.

Santa Claus

Santa Claus is real?

Guess what, I got an 80GB Ipod, together with some facial products as X’mas present yesterday from someone that I am not even exactly close to.

It was a shock to receive these… even though I am very upset to lose my Ipod… Just do not feel very right and nice to receive such expensive gifts (even though the $ spent is minimal to him)…yet, to refuse seems very rude too…

Can only thank him graciously for all the gifts and the sweet thoughts…

And hopefully, I will be less careless with my things next time…

Santa does not entertain bad girls so often…

Review Time...

2005 is a year of actions for me – I was doing a lot of things at the same time, thus cramping up my schedule. Life seemed to be in a mad rush for me, with a lot to accomplish each day. Well, it was a great year for me - actions, actions and then results… On hindsight, I realized that I achieved a lot in 2005... However, of course, after a year of such hectic schedule, one of my goals for 2006 is to have a more relaxed year...

Suddenly, with a blink, 2006 is coming to an end. Is it about me or that time simply flies?

Since coming to the end of a year, it is a time for reflection and review…

Well, yes, this year is indeed a more relaxed year for me in term of activities. I took quite a number of holidays, both long and short ones, and did 2 half marathons. And I am more inward focused this year, with the attention on myself and people who are closer to me.

In general, this is a thinking year for me. I cannot say it hasn’t been smooth sailing, but I guess I have had a greater share of breakdowns this year as compared to last year, and many events that took place set me thinking about things. I have also made a few major decisions this year...

Nevertheless, I did achieve almost everything that I set in my 2006 DOE. Of course, I think there is some shortfall in certain PPGs, which certainly can be better...

So... now let me mull over what kind of personal and professional goals I should set for myself in the coming year of 2007.

Madness Week

It is madness in office this week!! So busy with work that I can hardly breathe. Why so busy? Cos we are rushing out for a campaign…and it is holidays season... and the whole wide world seems to be on leave...

Of course, not forgetting that everything has to follow this process:

1. Identify the issue
2. Propose alternatives or solutions
3. MUST ASK FOR APPROVAL
4. Cannot do anything or make any decision without clearance.
5. Follow instructions solely and DO
6. Repeat step 1 all over again

So... every matter, big or small, important or trivial has to be cleared by Her. None of us can make decisions ourselves, even though the solution or action is so straight in the face. Thus I supposed that is one reason why I am so busy... additional steps in every thing we do... so inefficient, so redundant. I think my brain is retarding - it has refused to think nowadays as there is no need to....

X'mas is so close on the heels now. I always love X'mas, and like the whole meaning behind it, thus X'mas is one of my favourite festive holidays. Yet, the merry x’mas mood seems to miss me this year... Think I am too overwhelmed by every other thing that I do not have time or energy to enjoy the mood in the air.

Or otherwise, it is just a plain sign that I am getting old... Old means emotions are pretty flat and everything else does not seem to be important anymore. In another words, I am oblivious and becoming a walking zombie... Haha…

Careless...

I lost my Ipod few days back... :( x ∞

There goes my nice black Ipod, together with my 1800+ of mp3, photos and the rest. :…(

Did I ever say that I am a very blur and careless person in nature when it comes to things? I normally cannot quite recall where I last put my things, nor can I remember when I have done a certain action.

The best part is when I think that I am very careful, I am not; when I think that I am putting in extra conscious effort to be cautious, I am still as clumsy and blur! Arrgh…

And did I ever say that this trait of mine frustrates the hell out of me at times? … I always misplace my things, be it inexpensive or dear, or forget where I last see them etc. I hate it especially when I lost an item that holds significance for me, especially when it is a gift from someone dear in my life.

Lotsa heavy prices pay for being so careless, blur and lack of concentration in what I am doing… Alas…

Happy Birthday...!

It is your birthday tomorrow.

Wishing you many many happy returns on such a special day of yours.

Thanks for being so supportive and patient with me always.

Things have just been easier with you around.

Guess you really add order to my disorganised life! Thou I think I add more chaos to your structured life! Haha.

Sorry... I cannot be not around to celebrate your birthday on the actual day. But late celebration is better than nothing, right? :P

Happy Birthday! Enjoy! Luvs...

Questions...

I have going around asking some people a lot of questions recently. Ha. Perhaps I always have a lot of questions and always have been asking?! I am a problem kid indeed...This I dun deny. Haha.

Just trying to understand certain things... So asking helps, talking aloud helps, listening to what others have to say helps... At least talking about it helps clear the mind, and others may have views that I have never considered or thought about. Anyway, I dunno, thus I ask...obviously.. :P

Anyway, I have come to a conclusion that people can be pretty stupid at times, so irrational that they can do things that put themselves in a distinct disadvantage. So, the heart is an item that we ought to discard at times? Or the brain has suddenly decided to go on strike and stop thinking, thus sabotaging us? Haha..

It is interesting to know how different people see things and set their boundaries. It is also intriguing to know how people have defined their own sets of rights & wrongs, dos & don’ts, rules & boundaries. Yet, when you flip all those 'principles" around and present with a different angle along their own line of arguments, they are eating their own words.

In life, there are always grey areas for debate. It can never be just pure black and white - it is overly idealistic and naive to think so. If it is so, life will NOT be so interesting lor…

“As long as you know what you are doing…”

“Are you sure you know what you are doing most of the times?”

Haha.

Life...

"Life can't give you joy and peace;
It's up to you to will it.
Life just gives you time and space;
it's up to you to fill it."

Congrats, A & MJ..

I attended another wedding yesterday evening at Carlton. I am pretty close to this couple. (Perhaps it is the reason why there were many moments that I was being moved by them yesterday…) We shared an intensive three months together, coaching some special individuals. At the same time, we went on an Aussie trip last year together, creating some really fun and special moments together. Thus we are bonded even closer. (Holidays is one of the best ways to create some intimacy, isn’t it?)

Seeing them finally together is indeed touching. Both of them have come a long way, with each having a really bad experience in a failed relationship. Thus being able to meet other, come together and finally walking down the aisle is indeed not easy.

The bride was getting emotional during the thank-you speech, not to say that her tears just flowed uncontrollably when one of our friends sung such a passion-filled song just for them.

To me, their wedding dinner was not one of those grand and elaborate affairs. Yet, we were not exactly bothered by all the glitches as well. All we know is that we were there to celebrate the moments of significance for them.

I sincerely wish them a happy married life. Both are certainly powerful, passionate and loving individuals, complementing each other pretty well. I am sure they will have lots more fun in their married life..

I Wonder

If things din change for you and me back then
Where will we be today?

Can’t pick it up from where we left off
Can’t go back in time too

This is perhaps the best distance for you and me
It is more than I can ask for

Just a silent wish
For happiness to be yours always...

What's Your Love Style?

Your Love Style is Storge

For you, love and friendship are almost the same thing And your love tends to be the enduring, long lasting kind (You've been known to still have connections with exes) But sometimes your love is not the most passionate Leap before you look, and you'll find that fire you crave

What's Your Love Style?

"Have You Ever Been In Love"

Was up at this hour...

My itunes was on...

Was doing another blog entry actually.

Then this song was played over the speakers...

The tune... then some bits of the lyrics... caught my attention.

The funny thing is, I have been listening to this album over and over again for quite awhile already, however, this song just slipped me every time...

Yet, at this moment, I paused to listen with my heart what this song is about...

Perhaps, it's cos of such quiet nite...

Went to Youtube, managed to find this song...

And pardon me, such coincidence, it is another westlife song from The Love Album...

Have You Ever Been In Love


In the morning light
Half awake and half asleep
Have you ever laid there thinking
Was it all a dream?
But you reach out and she's there
Every moment, everywhere
Have you ever been in love?

Have you ever felt
How far a heart can fall
Have you ever stayed up waiting
For a telephone call
Just to hear her say hello
Cause you miss each other so
Have you ever been in love?

Have there been times to laugh
And times you really want to cry
Finding reasons to believe her
cause you'd die a little if she lied
And when in times of doubt
Have you ever tried to work it out
But still she leaves you wondering
What it's all about

And when she's far away
Have you ever felt the need to stray
And tried and then discovered
It just doesn't pay
Cause with her, you can be true
And with her, you can be you
Have you ever been in love?

Have there been times to laugh
And times you really want to cry
Finding reasons to believe her
Cause you'd die a little if she lied
And when in times of doubt
Have you ever tried to work it out
But still she leaves you wondering
What its all about

And when the night comes down
Can you call your house a home
Do you dream you're still together
And wake up alone
Have you ever been in love
The way that I'm in love
Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever been in love?

Let...

Hmm, I suddenly decide to try an English version of the below entry. Perhaps I am too bored? Haha…

Let me see, can this do?

Let the twinkling stars
Bring boundless new hopes

Let the vast sky
Embrace all great dreams

Let the silent night
Calm the unsettled mind

Let the cool breeze
Take away all disturbing troubles

Let also a tight hug
Warm the cold heart

Just be with me
To gaze at stars
Let all be unspoken

Still think the Chinese version is much better…. isn’t it? : P

就让。。。

让闪烁的星星
带来无限的新希望

让辽阔的天空
触摸着没有尽头的梦想

让宁静的夜晚
安抚忐忑不安的情绪

让凉凉的微风
吹走懊人的烦恼

也让紧紧的拥抱
温暖一颗即将冷却的心

就陪我去看星星吧
一切都不用再说明

Lord of the Ring Movie

I was watching Lords of the Ring - The Return of the King, i.e. Part 3 yesterday evening. It was the 2nd half of that 3h long show. The 1st half was screened on Sun evening.

As I was watching the show, I realised it is all about the 4 crucials - compelling desire, solid beliefs, effective actions and iron will! It also strongly brings out the distinctions like "If it is to be, it is up to me", "Team work, team players working towards a common vision" and "My vision, commitments, promises dictates my actions, not my feelings, assessments or evaluations". I must say the show also paints a vivid picture of courage, strength, friendship, love and passion.

It is indeed good to watch the same movie again - I may notice some details that I fail to notice the first time round. This is the same in life - when I revisit certain things in my life, I may get a different angle of understanding.

…So for those who said TV shows or movies are a waste of time, perhaps it is time for them to re-look into that comment. There are certainly things that one may learn from selected shows... if one is mindful enough, if I may use that word... :P

My After Thots after the Run

I completed my half marathon yesterday. The weather had been kind - it was cloudy and thus cooling. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why this was an easier run for me this time round. Perhaps it is in the mind too, as I know this run should be much easier for me since I am no longer considered a novice in that anymore. All in all, I enjoyed my run much more this time round. :)

I was just commenting why I like to do this standard chartered run at year end. The run marks the year end for me. It is like setting the goals at the beginning of the year, and knowing that I accomplish them at year end… So doing this run is symbolic in a sense

Do not know exactly why I persist in running actually. I did my virgin half marathon 2 years back in 2004 – it was to support someone who declared completion of a half marathon to be his goal that year. For someone who had problems finishing a 2km and with only 3 months to train, that was indeed a big stretch for me back then. I must have been mad to agree. Haha.. Not to mention that my madness went overboard, and I tested my limits in a full marathon last year. Definitely under-trained, I paid a high price for that – nearly got heat exhaustion. Haha.

Yet, how come I am still doing it now? Hmm… Reasons that I can think of:

1. Can keep fit
2. Cheap!
3. Good conditioning for the mind
4. Can do it any time with little constraints except for the weather
5. Relieve stress
6. Work off what I gobble down! Can lose weight in another word la! Or at least, dun grow fat!
7. Great energy booster & feel good factor.
8. Clear my thoughts and my mind
9. Realign myself with some goals
10. Train up my discipline

Wow, not bad. I can think of 10 reasons at least!

Ya, so I guess these are all that keep me going.

Wonder how long I will still be doing this… Perhaps my interest can change tomorrow? That is for me to find out. Hoo hoo..

Standard Chartered Run

I did not go for my run as planned yesterday night. Was feeling pretty off tune, thus I ended just stoning and sleeping. Opps... Neither did I go for my usual swim today. Opps again... Such laziness, huh?

Tomorrow is the Standard Chartered run already. I only signed up for the half marathon this year. Full marathon requires too much effort and time in training already. So…well, I opt for the easier way… Opps… Lazy lazy again!

Think I did not train as much as I should have. I was perhaps taking it too easy and other things after work take priority rather than going for a run. Of course, there are many other times that I am just feeling tired or lazy… See, laziness is always in my dictionary…:P

A new record of 30, 000 people are running tomorrow. Let’s hope the weather will be fine and my run will be smooth…