The 5 Love Languages

There are 5 love languages, accordingly to author Gary Chapman. There are:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

Accordingly, you may speak a different primary love language from your loved ones, be it your partner, friend, family members etc. In order for your own emotional tank to be filled, your partner got to speak your love language and vice versa. Of course, speaking another love language unfamiliar to you may require lotsa effort on your part. Yet, at the end of the day, it is for yourself, and the relationship that you may have been wanting?

I recently re-flipped this book "The Five Love Languages" again. I got this book many years back. Think should be about 7 years back by a mere chance. It is an easy book to read, fast to finish… perhaps it is cos that I am just browsing through it very quickly. Anyway, it is interesting to read this book again as the matter of fact is, I never exactly finished reading this book back then or any time during these 7 years. Oopss… Hahaha...

I should think that my primary love language is quality time, though I cannot discern my secondary love language at this point in time... Sorry ah, my brain is pretty fuzzy recently, think it is on a holiday (??), so I think I am pretty retarded in my thinking…

So what is your love language? Your loved ones?? Interested to read more about the various love languages? Visit here.

B&W or Coloured?

So does the B&W communicate more?

Or it is the coloured one that is always more outstanding?

Which one do you prefer?

When I was young...

When I was young, I was pretty independent as my parent would leave me alone. Perhaps more correctly put, I had made it in such a way that my parents would pay more attention to my 2 younger brothers.

My 2 brothers and I were 3 years apart from one another (nice coincidence huh to be so well spaced out!). I still remembered vividly a conversation that I had with myself at a very tender age. I somehow had reached a conclusion then that I ought to give my parents minimum trouble as it was tough on them having to handle 3 of us, and my brothers, being younger, would certainly need more of their attention and time… So there I was, going to Kindergarten myself, figuring my way around in Primary, and struggling with growing up in Secondary.. Think I must have done well, since my record of teachers complaining to my parents was clean and my parents never did need to worry about my school work, exams or things like that. I’m not saying that I was a model student or I was darn good in studies or things like that, just that it was good enough not to create any problem.

So yes, I think my purpose was achieved – I was never a cause of worry for my parents during those years, and they do focus on my 2 brothers, giving them more attention and fussing over them. The funny thing was I was never jealous of my brothers even though I was “neglected”. I just somehow felt that it is only right since my brothers were much younger and thus would certainly be more reliant on my parents…

Yet again, though I never really ask for much love and attention, it doesn’t mean that I do not want it. There were countless occasions that I was lost and scared, wanting just some assurance and guidance, and there were many times that I just simply yearned for more attention, time and love. Still, I never overtly demanded for it - I know that I need to be mature about it. However, the brain and heart, as usual did not quite align with each other at times, thus they ended up fighting with each other though eventually all did go well…

The me today… perhaps is still very much like how I was when I was young. Many a time, my shouts for support can be subtle; my desires for certain people’s attention are still kept within; my tendency to handle matters myself is automatic…

So, it went back a long way in history… reflection suddenly brought up the connection, letting me trace back the roots…

Record Breaking

Great, I broke my own record. I am still in office now... at 9.20pm...

#*&@*(#^*@)!&#*#*&@^

My dream yesterday

Yes, I need to talk about dreams again... (Blame it on my brain for being so active during the night, k!) I dislike dreams that are intensified; or rather I do not like dreams which my emotions are very intense.

And yes, I had such a dream yesterday... It seemed like I had never exactly slept.

Yes, the dream was not rational at all, piecemeal by itself, with different lead actors and actresses in different scenes, yet it had flowed smoothly into one long episode.

This dream… had magnified or brought out certain (suppressed?!) emotions. Or it is my thoughts, conscious and subconscious, that had manifested in the dream itself? **shrugged** No, it wasn’t exactly a bad dream. It is just that the experience of my own emotions was so vivid that it seemed real.

Curiosity, bewilderment, eagerness, concern, affection, embarrassment, sadness, self-reproach, foolishness, responsibility... were all intertwined tightly in this dream of mine. And the issue is, these emotions still lingered strongly when I opened my eyes for the day this morning...

Know that dreams are just dreams, and they are not real. They are, at times, also very senseless though not groundless... However, as the experience of the dream still lingered in my mind, it had somehow affected my general mood today. Yet again, it is not like my mood is foul.... just that perhaps I am set into a thinking mode. Think it matters a bit more too because I had dreamt of some people who are important to me in some ways or another...

My Favourite Corner...

My favourite corner in the house...

The bedroom...

I have placed a hi-fi system with surround sound in it recently... and I never look back.

The bed is my addiction. Big, soft and ultra-comfy, it simply wraps me around whenever I laze and relax on top of it.

The music that often fills the room is my antidote. Soothing and invigorating, every moment is an indulgence as my emotions swing in ryhthm with each song played on air.

The book in my hand is my entertainment. Insightful and enriching, it always re-grounds me back to basics, reminding me of pointers that I may have oversighted.

Lying in bed reading a great book while listening to the music... these are the moments that I simply love...

My bedroom, a getaway itself ... a hideout from the crazy world out there...

Moments of laughter, tears, fun, craziness and deep thoughts, I have them all there... Sense & sensibility, vulnerability & openness... you catch a glimpse of those in the same space too...

There you have it... my favourite corner in the house...

Questions and Thoughts

What if a couple behaves more than like best of friends rather than lovers? I.e. the relationship of the couple has evolved in such a way that both are very comfortable with each other, know each other inside out, and can accept each other's flaws well... The only shame is that there is no more passion or the boy-girl love in this whole relationship. Is this usual? Is this how a relationship may evolve to? Is this acceptable? If both can be best of friends, two can certainly live together and with each other, isn't it?

On the other hand, if it is not acceptable and not right, then how? Great lovers can be best of friends at the same time; yet, the reverse may not be true - you can be best of friends without any other intimate feelings involved. The line may be thin though. So, when such a stage is reached, can the passion be rekindled? Can the relationship be different? How can it be different when the feeling is no longer there? Familiarity may breed complacency or worse still, contempt.

Expanding more along the same line, can you be responsible to something or someone without love? Some may say yes... But I got to agree with what B said - you cannot be just responsible without any love of any kind involved, otherwise, you will start to resent what you are doing. It is only a matter of time that you get sick of yourself sticking around in anything just out of responsibility. How long can you do that? Perhaps some people last it out longer... but there is always a limit to how long and how much you can be responsible. Simply put, there will be an end point to all these.

Yet, if you are responsible out of love, then that it is a different story. You do it because you love. Of course, as time goes by, the love may become obscured by responsibility. Yet, looking at it hard and deep enough, you may unravel the reasons of love all over again. Guess it is all about being grounded all over again after many ups and downs and looking beyond what is presented?

NDP @ Marina Bay 2007

NDP @ Marina Bay 2007 was totally an extravaganza. The signage to the NDP entry points were found at various points in Marine Square Mall itself, and the entry to the NDP area was a breeze - it was quick and less chaotic than previous years. The only hiccup perhaps was the slight chaos at the collection points for the fun packs. Nevertheless, I was really excited about this year NDP even days before... As I walked towards the gallery, I was like a little kid, excited at the fact I could be at a brand new location to view the NDP and celebrate the nation’s birthday.

I was at the seating gallery at about 345pm, and the whole place was already bustling with the performers and the early birds who were there to grab the best seats. The weather was kinder this year - not as hot as the the year when I was at Padang. But of course, being more experienced, we brought caps and umbrella this time round!

The 1h long pre-parade concert was entertaining. Of course, the NDP was really a treat with the spectacular performances putted up by the various groups. My favourite was the dynamic defence display where the performers had fully utilised all the elements of skies, water and land within and around the performing stage that we were in total awe of the intense actions packed in this particular performance, so much so that we did not know where we should focus our attention!

I love the mystical concept of this year parade, as well as this year theme of “Celebrate Singapore: City of Possibilities” which reflects optimism and pride as Singaporeans from all walks of life come together to celebrate the nation’s 42nd birthday. The organising party had blended this concept of possibilities very well in this year’s NDP. The largest floating performance stage had certainly enabled many innovative ways of performance, surprising the audience time and time again.

Of course, I still love the fireworks as ever...

Time certainly flied past... before I knew it, the parade ended... Can I go for the next year one as well?

Some of the pictures taken…

The floating stage and the crowd before the NDP

The stickers found in the fun pack


The "lighted" Jellyfishes


The colourful finale

Friday Lunch

How does having a banana, a cranberry scone and a raspberry blackcurrant drink for lunch sound? Well, I just had those just now... Ok, correction, I had the banana in office first... Haha... I had lunch with a friend at one of my favourite lunch place, favourite not because of the great food the cafe has to offer, but it is the location itself. It was a quiet place, away from the bustling lunch crowd around the Shenton area...

Sitting outside Starbucks, facing the sea and Esplanade, the lunch was a simple, yet pretty relaxing one. Surprisely, it was coolingly windy even though the sun seems to be scorching hot... I like it there cos it is generally quiet with very little crowd during lunch hour, and I can have the sea and the sun as company. It is a good place to chill out for an afternoon, and get away from work for awhile...

I am in a quiet mood today. Not quiet quiet, but just that I am not like that noisy and such a nuisance...I think I can keep my mouth shut whole day long if no one talks to me... It is one of those moods - not feeling blue, not feeling frustrated or tight yet not like feeling darn high or great... hahaha.. It is just hard to describe.. Think quiet is the only word I can find to describe. Pardon me, I got limited vocabulary la… I don’t study hard enough when I was young…

And thanks goodness, today is Friday.. Weekend is here…

NDP tomorrow

Yes, tomorrow is NDP 2007, and yippee, I got a pair of tickets to go for it!! Ya,for once, lady luck is shining on me.. Or rather, it was my mom who had the luck, since it was my mom's NRIC that got picked by the system. Almost half a million balloted for the tickets wor!

I was NDP 2005 before at Padang too. Well, if I can only use a word to describe it, then it is "fun". It was indeed a different experience to be present at the stadium itself. The process of getting from the MRT station to Padang was a nightmare and waiting to go in to be seated was torturous... Oh yes, the waiting for the parade to start was hell with 2+h under the scorching sun, and yet I dared not drink alot of water , cos the toilet was far, and I was right in the middle of a row - to make my way out of the squeezy row was already a challenge itself. Yup, I was grumbling that I never ever want to be at another NDP ever again... Well, I need to swallow back all my words, cos when the parade was over, I was like "Gosh, this is fun! I want to come next year!" Hahaha..

So I am eager to see how this year NDP will be like, since it is first time at Marina Bay on a world largest floating stage... And only 27 000 can be present at the actual show … :)

Oh yes, there are fireworks celebrations on 17-18 Aug, 9pm at Marina Bay too... If you love fireworks, be there... They are always so breathtaking... if not for the crowd...

This Sun Night...

On a Sunday evening like this, I have the privilege to have the house to myself... The night is especially breezy, certainly making my mood calmer and better.

I love having the whole house to myself. I can fill the whole house with the music I love, making it as surround sound as possible... and I can simply hide in any corner that I fancy reading a book, lazing, daydreaming, thinking through things or simply just to curl up and drift off to sleep. It is a time where there is solitude; where I get some time to be with myself, to indulge in such moments...

It had been a long week last week. It was like an unimaginable roller coaster ride. First, there were hopes, then edginess, then excitement, then frustration, anger, disappointment, fear, sadness... Was it just a week or was I confused - it had been longer than I thought?

I am always aware that there are 2 sides to the same coin. I can be an optimist or a downright pessimist – the choice is mine. In an experience, even horrendous ones, there is always something, perhaps a lot, to learn from it too. Yet, I do not wish to be caught up in “idealistic denial”, to be trapped by own idealistic tendencies, which don’t leave much room for the existence of the imperfect, and thus denying reality. And many a time, I'm really battered inside to drag my feet forward for another step... Yet, there are always some people whom stick so close to me, giving me lotsa support, love and encouragement to make this journey so much better.

Anyway, someone dear to me showed me these few lines very recently:

Sometimes what we are looking for comes knocking on our door.
Sometimes it is right around the corner from where we’ve stopped, sure that we are lost and will never find it.
Sometimes it’s waiting for us to look up from our old map long enough to see that there, not so far away, is something wonderful that we couldn’t even have imagined existed.

Thank you, dearie for the reminder, and that I was the one who had highlighted these few lines to you quite some time back. Coincidentally, I saw these few lines again just now in the book that I have started re-flipping.

Anyway, it is “Home Run” show time for me now...