Possessive...

The definition of Possessive according to Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary: the desire to own or dominate.

It is human being’s nature to desire owning the things we like, be it an item or a person, isn’t it? If not, then perhaps that item is not important to us at all?

However, this possessiveness is very delicate, especially in a relationship of any sort. How much is enough? How much breathing space is good? How much freedom is desirable? Asking too much, caring too excessively, wanting too much time together and it becomes suffocating and growth impeding. The other party then starts to resist all these so-called love and concern. Yet, if you do not show enough TLC, you end up with feedbacks that you do not care or you get questioned of their importance and place in your heart.

Some people need more space than others; some love to stick together… This is a scale, always waiting to be balanced; otherwise, the whole equation will be upset. It takes 2 persons’ expectations to be aligned, and deep understanding, sensitivity and trust to make this scale well-balanced.

I personally did commit this crime of being possessive before, not so much in actions but in thoughts, many a time. I remembered I was so close to this Uni girlfriend of mine that I wish that I am the closest friend in her life too, and I got a taste of sour grapes when I saw her close to her JC friends… How immature. Haha.

As I get on with life, I learn and shift my thinking. Just like I greatly value my own freedom, I respect others for their private space to do what they want. They are not my possessions, and should not be treated as one. Of course, I ought to be honest to acknowledge that I may have my own insecurity every now and then, questioning many things such as my importance and contributions. However, I will try to handle these conversations of mine internally with my best efforts. To impose, demand or restrict is too much and not right, not to say to practice double standards.

I am also fully aware that if the person that I love or care for is happy, I should be happy no matter I am a part of his or her life or not. But saint I am not, hence I must admit this principle is hard to follow at times. Of course, I rather to be the one hurt than to see the ones I love upset, as it is always easier to handle my own emotions than another person.

Many things in life are like sand: the harder I try to grab tight to it, the more it will slip through my fingers… Thus, I figure the best is to treasure what is right in front of me today, even though things may change tomorrow.

Outcome is perhaps important to me. Yet, no matter what the outcome may be, I am constantly reminding myself to enjoy the process and the moment called The Present.