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Realised a weakness of mine during a conversation with someone close.
Suddenly came into recognition that I find it hard to walk out of situations or people, especially when I feel that I got obligations towards them. It is tough for me to just disregard everything and walk out of a situation that I know that I should. Obligations of all sorts come into considerations, and decisions become hard to make. What is it exactly that holds me back in situations like these? Is it a tussle between the heart and the brain or is it the devil and angel in me playing up? Is it about caring too much about others, or about "responsibility", or about what is "right and wrong"?? Or it is just me, simply emotionally weak and soft, thus not being able to put down my feet and just do it?
Many a times, I rather it is others that walk out of my life or make me upset, not the other way round. At least, it is easier for me to handle my own hurt and sadness, than to know someone out there is depressed because of me. Reason is simple – if it is the other person, I may be helpless, not knowing how to make it better for him or her.
Of course, it is not often that I may be caught in such situations. Maybe I only find it tougher when I feel that I am treated well, and thus got a duty so called to 'repay' all the kindness, given opportunities, love etc…
However, I do end up doing what I need to eventually. Bite the bullet of pain and just do it, for the better of everyone or for myself. Best medicine is always bitter, isn’t it? Just that the process of getting there is made much tougher by my own considerations.
In situations like these, is there an easier and better way for me to get to the end point? There should be, ya? Perhaps I would wait for someone to show me the way to it?!
Suddenly came into recognition that I find it hard to walk out of situations or people, especially when I feel that I got obligations towards them. It is tough for me to just disregard everything and walk out of a situation that I know that I should. Obligations of all sorts come into considerations, and decisions become hard to make. What is it exactly that holds me back in situations like these? Is it a tussle between the heart and the brain or is it the devil and angel in me playing up? Is it about caring too much about others, or about "responsibility", or about what is "right and wrong"?? Or it is just me, simply emotionally weak and soft, thus not being able to put down my feet and just do it?
Many a times, I rather it is others that walk out of my life or make me upset, not the other way round. At least, it is easier for me to handle my own hurt and sadness, than to know someone out there is depressed because of me. Reason is simple – if it is the other person, I may be helpless, not knowing how to make it better for him or her.
Of course, it is not often that I may be caught in such situations. Maybe I only find it tougher when I feel that I am treated well, and thus got a duty so called to 'repay' all the kindness, given opportunities, love etc…
However, I do end up doing what I need to eventually. Bite the bullet of pain and just do it, for the better of everyone or for myself. Best medicine is always bitter, isn’t it? Just that the process of getting there is made much tougher by my own considerations.
In situations like these, is there an easier and better way for me to get to the end point? There should be, ya? Perhaps I would wait for someone to show me the way to it?!
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