Today's Thots

I had a walk home from the MRT station at slightly past midnight just now. And cos I have changed into a pair of flats just now, I have enjoyed the walk even though I was carrying tons with things with me. . I always love walking in the night in comfort wears actually. The night is always serene and peaceful, and made better especially with breezes.

Much thought has been racing in my mind suddenly this evening. Thus this entry may be haphazard, with no link from one another. Yet, I do want to jot them down…

I was on the topic with fear and courage this evening. Coincidently, I was on this yesterday too. I personally have very bad experiences with certain things before, thus I have formed certain beliefs about me and the issues themselves. As such, I may resist coming anywhere close to them again for fear I may be hurt again. Yet, deep inside I do know that I cannot stop short in actions just because of a few failures or bad experiences. The courage to try again needs to be in place… even though I suspect that the heart may just stop pumping… Yes, I took the courage to risk it and attempt again after so much hesitation… and I am glad that I did it though I still may not know the result. “Courage is certainly not without fear. Courage is confronting the fear and still does it anyway.” I always hold this coaching close to my heart.

Have you caught yourself in some relationships that can be draining? Those relationships with people that you try your best to be understanding and accommodating to the extent that you frustrate and question yourself; or you do not know what you are doing any more or what to expect any longer? What would you do then – ignore and pretend all is alright and continue as it is, or make yourself immune to it, shut down and just accept, or confront it with intent to resolve, or just simply cut it off?? What will you choose? Is the choice so easy? Can we ignore the issues when we know that they will only get bigger, not go away? Yet, to confront requires so much strength – the ability to bear and deal with the possible hurt that can linger for a long time down the road…

Everyone’s ability to comprehend, grasp and understand is different. Otherwise, the world will be so competitive that you or I can hardly breathe with ease. Even thought certain things may be crystal clear to me, they may still appear murky to you… Thus one of the learning that I got over these few years is to accept and be at ease with that. At the same time, I learnt that “if the king is not urgent, why should the eunuch be?” If you do not desire to get to the goal that you say is important to you, I cannot desire and do it for you… for it is your own life that you are talking about...