My last clearing in the Year of Rat

When a friend can walk out of you because of that little bit of money, I think it is a little hard to swallow.

Objectively, it is a fair transaction – I pay you the right price, you come and work for me. Some other people pay you a higher price, you move on. There is nothing that I can do or stop it from happening. But the line gets blur when I am talking about a friend here, not to say I am talking only a mere three months here.

When you asked for that price which can compensate you well for your move, I got it for you. When you are in for these few months, you are obviously not as busy as I am, for I think I should give you time to adapt. When you are late or do not come to work, I close one eye...

Yet, after a short stint of three months, you said you want to move back to your ex-company. You said they are going to retain the operation in Singapore instead of the initial plan to shift the team to Bangalore eventually, thus they wanted to hire back people like you who need no training. They have come up with a pay package to match your existing pay, and with that come the $1k London shift allowance, which you think make a huge difference to your income … You have also found a whole string of all other reasons to justify your decision.

I have told myself to draw a clear line between work and friendship. Thus I had not wanted to make you wrong nor want to exploit on feelings… cos I know there will be no end to that. There is also no point getting someone to stay and be unhappy about that. So I had a chat with you very objectively, minus all feelings and assessments, and let you get to where you want to.

But really, it is indeed upsetting if I let all my feelings get to me. As a friend, you had never considered the difficult spot (and the possible shit hole) that you had landed me into by your actions and decision. You have also not appreciated much of the many things that I have done for you here. All you think of is you, yourself and money. So I really wonder what am I to you- a tool that you can make use of and to leverage on?

I do know our vision and thoughts are different, so it is each to his own – there is nothing wrong with your decision. There should be no hard feelings at all, and I don’t think I will have. The issue itself is not a big deal, but it is just tougher to swallow the tints of disappointment in your characters and our friendship...

P.S. Do not exploit me of my trust, love and sincerity... for I can be very vulnerable when it comes to all these.