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It is funny at times how I can feel close to some people even though we have not met up for quite awhile; yet for some, I always feel there is this invisible hurdle that we cannot cross no matter how often the communication is. There are some people whom I can click at that very instant moment; yet there are some whom I can never quite tolerate for as long as I know them.
Anyway, I brushed against this topic yesterday: length of time = depth of understanding.
Is it true? Ceteris paribas, given that there is a fair amount of communications over time, it is natural that you will get to know someone's idiosyncrasies, ways of being, actions and reactions etc much better. The root goes deep, as you may have spent so many years growing up together, going through phases of life together, therefore you know how each other is.
Yet, I often hear things like "he is no longer the same person that I know him XX years ago", "she has changed", “I dun know you anymore"... Puzzling… (?)
A relationship of any sort is never status quo. It is either forward moving or retarding. Even though 2 persons have known each other for decades, it doesn’t mean that there is an established understanding then, now and in the future. We may think that we know, understand, or can second guess the other person well. However, along the way, we may have failed to recognise and consider the other person's experiences, developments and growth. Each of us learn and grow at different speeds too. Lack of communications, full of assumptions, ease of complacency… all these lead to the diversion of paths subtly and slowly - ideas, values and thoughts are never aligned at the same point anymore... the vicious circle starts, and the gap widens as time goes by…
So length of time = depth of understanding can only be true to a certain extent. Bonding and understanding certainly take more than 1 ingredient to work well.
Anyway, I brushed against this topic yesterday: length of time = depth of understanding.
Is it true? Ceteris paribas, given that there is a fair amount of communications over time, it is natural that you will get to know someone's idiosyncrasies, ways of being, actions and reactions etc much better. The root goes deep, as you may have spent so many years growing up together, going through phases of life together, therefore you know how each other is.
Yet, I often hear things like "he is no longer the same person that I know him XX years ago", "she has changed", “I dun know you anymore"... Puzzling… (?)
A relationship of any sort is never status quo. It is either forward moving or retarding. Even though 2 persons have known each other for decades, it doesn’t mean that there is an established understanding then, now and in the future. We may think that we know, understand, or can second guess the other person well. However, along the way, we may have failed to recognise and consider the other person's experiences, developments and growth. Each of us learn and grow at different speeds too. Lack of communications, full of assumptions, ease of complacency… all these lead to the diversion of paths subtly and slowly - ideas, values and thoughts are never aligned at the same point anymore... the vicious circle starts, and the gap widens as time goes by…
So length of time = depth of understanding can only be true to a certain extent. Bonding and understanding certainly take more than 1 ingredient to work well.
1 comment:
You've just shown great depth in Friendship 101.
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