Adv: After thots

The five full days were stretchy - I needed to call forth so much focus and energy, not to mention the daily late nights and early mornings. Yet, I simply lost track of time when each day seemed to zoom past in a flash.

It had been a different yet wonderful and fulfilling experience to step back into the Advance training room since my last staffing four years ago. I had grown and shifted over these years, thus the ways I was in the room with my people were completely different. It was a precious growth experience for me, learning that if I am at ease with creating results, my people will be too. I learnt to trust myself in who I need to be for them to win. All the conversations of whether I was doing it right disappeared when I focused out there, on something bigger than myself.

On top of that, I was very inspired by the big people in the room and their willingness to work with themselves. I am proud of the stand they make for themselves and for someone's life. It was of no easy feat, so seeing them shift, let go, grow and create breakthrough make me want to go for more in my life, knowing that I can.

You can never know how an apple tastes like until you get your teeth into it. Similarly, no word can fully describe the experience and learning that you can get in Advance. But I do know it's an experience that no one will regret if they make the decision to walk in. I never did, and I am sure my adv buddy, LP captain, Dan and many people around me can attest to that too... :)

Happy V'day

Today is the day – Feb 14. Where lovers overtly express their love by lavish dinners, gifts and flowers…

What did I do on this day? Spent the first few moments with 2 other friends – it was early celebration of his birthday that falls next Friday… As I am not free next week, we brought it forward to yesterday. We were having a drink together when the clock ticked to 12 midnight.

Today - I ended up at Bukit Timah Nature Reserve for trail walking… I was there for more than an hour in late afternoon, sweating it out from all the climbing and descending… The irony is both Dan and I were tired from that little while of shopping after lunch, but were wide awake when walking around the trails! And we had Mac for dinner cos we wanted to catch the last episode of the 730pm show on Channel U. Oops.. boring day?! Ha…

Do not know when it starts, but I never exactly fancy Feb 14. It is overly commercialized. Maybe it is about age catching up huh. I prefer my way of celebrating V’day, by doing things that I enjoy doing… Simplicity is beauty. Haaa…

Still, Happy Valentine Day, everyone!

I hate next week!

It is going to be super hectic time for me comes next week. Real early mornings plus super late nights for every consecutive day in the week… I wonder how I am supposed to survive the week. * shrug*

It is undoubtedly busy time on Mon and Tue at work… Yet, I am on leave on Wed to Fri… It is seriously a bad time for me to go on leave, as I have much unfinished work and this also means I am delaying some answers that I need from my boss – irritatingly, he is only back in office from Wed. *#Y@*#&! I would need to bear the prices for my actions when I am back at work the week after.

And am I going some place for holidays from next Wed onwards? Nope, it is no fun time. I am in for serious tough work with some people… it will certainly be more intense and tiring than work itself…

Stretchy, stretchy, stretchy… So many prices to pay… It is like I am already in Advance before I step back in again.

I chose this stretch... Arggh....

I hate Mondays, especially today!

It is a 'horrible, horrible' way to start a Monday morning!
Having to crawl out of bed at 5.30am was ultimate torture
Sitting around at 6.45am at hawker centre was a pain
Discussing serious matters at such early hour strained my pea brain
And I am sitting in office now feeling so zombified and tired
That I feel I ought to be shot - death seems to be a better way out for now
Arrgh... it is going to spoil my day... n maybe week...
A tired me is an irritated bitch lor...
All thanks to my captain! 3 cheers for him. Duh.

My first work day in Ox year

Off went the Rat, here comes the Ox… In a blink of an eye, CNY is already on its 3rd day… The preparation for CNY always seems to be mountainous, but the festive season will be over before one realized it.

The indulging super long weekend ended so fast that I was feeling blue going to work today. I regretted not taking another day off – the roads were empty and trains had no crowd. However, most people in my office, being non-locals, were already running at full steam, dampening my CNY mood certainly. Of course, I know very clearly the main reason why I resisted so much about getting into office – the person sitting next to me…

And I did lose my cool with some people in office today. :O I always have little tolerance for nonsensical stuff especially at work, but I have managed (or so I thought) to mellow that down quite a fair bit nowadays. Yet, my mood was biting me so much today that I almost blew off my top! Obviously, my low tolerance could not be hidden nor my irritated tone could go unnoticed. But well, what was done cannot be undone. I just hope I did not start myself on the wrong foot. :(

I would re ground myself of course, me attempting to be the sensible me… So tomorrow will be a better day. *fingers crossed*

“My vision, commitments dictate my actions, not my feelings, assessments or evaluations…”

BUT I should seriously consider if I should take a day off this Friday…

My last clearing in the Year of Rat

When a friend can walk out of you because of that little bit of money, I think it is a little hard to swallow.

Objectively, it is a fair transaction – I pay you the right price, you come and work for me. Some other people pay you a higher price, you move on. There is nothing that I can do or stop it from happening. But the line gets blur when I am talking about a friend here, not to say I am talking only a mere three months here.

When you asked for that price which can compensate you well for your move, I got it for you. When you are in for these few months, you are obviously not as busy as I am, for I think I should give you time to adapt. When you are late or do not come to work, I close one eye...

Yet, after a short stint of three months, you said you want to move back to your ex-company. You said they are going to retain the operation in Singapore instead of the initial plan to shift the team to Bangalore eventually, thus they wanted to hire back people like you who need no training. They have come up with a pay package to match your existing pay, and with that come the $1k London shift allowance, which you think make a huge difference to your income … You have also found a whole string of all other reasons to justify your decision.

I have told myself to draw a clear line between work and friendship. Thus I had not wanted to make you wrong nor want to exploit on feelings… cos I know there will be no end to that. There is also no point getting someone to stay and be unhappy about that. So I had a chat with you very objectively, minus all feelings and assessments, and let you get to where you want to.

But really, it is indeed upsetting if I let all my feelings get to me. As a friend, you had never considered the difficult spot (and the possible shit hole) that you had landed me into by your actions and decision. You have also not appreciated much of the many things that I have done for you here. All you think of is you, yourself and money. So I really wonder what am I to you- a tool that you can make use of and to leverage on?

I do know our vision and thoughts are different, so it is each to his own – there is nothing wrong with your decision. There should be no hard feelings at all, and I don’t think I will have. The issue itself is not a big deal, but it is just tougher to swallow the tints of disappointment in your characters and our friendship...

P.S. Do not exploit me of my trust, love and sincerity... for I can be very vulnerable when it comes to all these.

It's all grim news

World economy now is going downhill, we are in a worst recession after the longest time. What can poor employees like me expect? No job security, no bargaining power... Life is going to be tougher... Better tighten wallet and save more, for I am not as rich as Tan Yong Soon...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reuters - Wednesday, January 21

By Neil Chatterjee and Jan Dahinten

SINGAPORE, Jan 21 - Singapore's economy shrank the most on record in the last quarter of 2008 and the government forecast a 5 percent contraction this year and a possible fall in consumer prices, which may prompt a one-off currency devaluation.

A government declaration that the economy was suffering its worst ever recession and official forecasts of a continued slump suggested to analysts the central bank could push down the centre of the trading band for the Singapore dollar, effectively devaluing it to help the key export sector.

The grim figures, largely a reflection of Singapore's exposure to the slump in global trade, also pave the way for an expansionary budget on Thursday as the government scrambles to shelter the economy from the worst global financial crisis in decades.

"The Singapore economy is going through its sharpest, deepest and most protracted recession," the Trade Ministry's Second Permanent Secretary Ravi Menon told journalists.

Government data showed gross domestic product shrank in the fourth quarter at a deeper-than-expected and seasonally adjusted rate of 16.9 percent, the biggest fall on record and the third consecutive quarterly contraction. Provisional figures had reported a 12.5 percent slump.From a year earlier, gross domestic product fell 3.7 percent.

That left 2008 growth at just 1.2 percent, an abrupt turnaround from a 7.7 percent expansion in 2007 when the stock market <.FTSTI>, financial services and property prices were booming.

The government downgraded its view of the economy for the second time in just three weeks, reflecting the rapid deterioration in the global economy that has seen much of the developed world slip into recession.

Singapore now sees GDP falling between 2 percent and 5 percent this year, which would be the worst performance on record, with consumer prices flat to down 1 percent.

"The official acknowledgement of deflation risks keeps alive a strong possibility that an eventual downward band re-centring could be on the cards in April," said Kit Wei Zheng at Citigroup, adding it could also restore some cost competitiveness.

However, the central bank said on Wednesday its monetary policy stance was intact after it moved to zero appreciation for the currency in October to counter the global financial crisis. It said it had no plans to review policy before a scheduled meeting in April.

Singapore manages monetary policy by adjusting the value of its currency in a secret trade-weighted band.

梁文音【最幸福的事】

How to resist falling in love with this song? I really do not know. Btw, the highlight of this MV is at the end, so be a little patient.

歌詞:

你撐著雨傘 接我那次
已經足夠我 記得一輩子
我懂後來你 不是不堅持
愛情本來就 沒萬無一失
淚水離開了 你的手指
那不如讓它 留在這信紙
我想女孩子 最貼心的是
讓愛的人選 結束的方式

我最幸福的事 當過你的天使
趁鼻酸能掩飾 讓我們像當時擁抱最後一次
最幸福的事 吹蠟燭時你總為我許願的手勢
為摯愛的人 在左邊心口保留位是最幸福的事

可惜愛不是 童話故事
不能夠永遠 依賴著王子
再難過其實 隻剩兩個字
我怎麼忍心 為難你解釋

我最幸福的事 當過你的天使
趁鼻酸能掩飾 讓我們像當時 擁抱最後一次
最幸福的事 吹蠟燭時你總為我許願的手勢
為摯愛的人 在左邊心口保留位置 是最幸福的事

那一陣子有你 美得不像現實
多高興每一幕 都微笑著靜止

我最幸福的事 牽著你的日子一段愛
從開始 即使分開我們 都對彼此誠實
最幸福的事 對那片海用力大喊永遠的樣子
想得起那時 那天和你傻笑著認識 是最幸福的事

Mary Jane!

This is my newly bought pair of Mary Jane Crocs... after a failed attempt to buy my running shoes (yet again!) at Queensway.

There is a 30% discount, so I think it is a great buy to replace my green Athens Crocs.

I'm easily satisfied, so am happy with this great buy! I got the cutie studs too (at a discount too, of course!)... Haaa...

I must say Crocs are really comfy walking shoes! Never judge slippers/shoes by their appearances...

Oh Women...!

We have more and more women joining our team in our office in these recent weeks
And one of my colleagues shares the same sentiments as I do -
It's worrying cos we know how some women can complicate things, not to say they cat fight
There are thousand and one things women compare amongst themselves
Looks, figure, age, status, dressing, make-up, bags, shoes... the list can go on and on
Some women obviously can be very threatened by younger, prettier and more energetic newbies
Some others resist that there is another woman more powerful, more assertive in the same room as they are
Some just cannot stand the fact that they are no longer the centre of attention
So they resort to stunts of all sorts to get to where they want to be...
Conversations such as "she is a bitch", "she did this, she did that” and “like and dun like" blah blah blah start to storm the grapevine...
Women can be worst creatures on earth when they start to get insecure
These undercurrents are worse than chemical warfare itself

At the end of it all, I think it eventually boils down to self confidence - knowing who you are, where you stand in terms of your own beauty and capabilities
We all are unique individuals with different personalities, looks and strengths, appealing to different people and excelling in different areas
Embracing fully who we are will make us shine brightly amongst the crowds...
Yes, it's easier said than done...
And ... I am also a woman...

My 2009 Declarations

Decide to do these few in 2009:
A marathon, a climb and a few dive trips;
Staff an advance, aim for greater heights at work, and spend more times with loved ones...

To be:
Be open, loving, passionate, focused and determined...

Simple? Yes??? (You sure?!)

Period.

What a first week

Last week was only the first week officially into the New Year at work, but it had already presented a fair share of challenges to me, driving me almost nuts…

I wonder how all can develop over the months and where I will be by then. Some things, there aren't instant solutions; for others, the situations do not seem to happen in my favour.

Is it a bad omen for the year? Or maybe I am over worrying, for things will all fall in place eventually…

Whichever, I definitely will not sit around and wait for the sky to drop or the hare to run and bang its head in front of me. At times like these, it is always wise to be constantly on my toes.

Let's wait and see… Bless me.

My 2008

A late post, but I did do my review and reflection of 2008. On hindsight, the year did not seem bad afterall - it is always a blessing to have all things to work out eventually, isn't it?

Work had been very challenging as I struggled my way through… There were countless moments when I sat at my desk and pondered hard over what was the appropriate next step. And my bonus sucked big time as compared to others when I got my adjustment letter in Nov. But it was all rectified when my boss gave a pretty good pay increment thereafter.

Relationships with family hasn't been easy - heaps of effort to get them handled, and they drove me nuts very often. Fortunately, there wasn't any big issue that could not be resolved, and together with the support from Dan, so I should not be complaining.

I did 2 marathons in 2008, which is the first time…and after 3 years from my first full marathon attempt in 2005. There were improvements in each run, which was something for me to celebrate about. Running - it is about ability and determination to finish a run even though I am not built for it and I am less than half past six at it. My learning and results from running are used to support all other areas in my life when I face crunch times.

I did 3 a-week long diving trips in the year too. Diving opens up a different world and experience… It is awesome to see so many remarkable living things in the sea. Besides, it is amazing how one's mind will never be on anything else (like work or dinner!) underwater…

All being said, I wish for a better and smoother year in 2009…

Anilao: 7 to 14 Dec

Finally, my pc is back! So now I can upload some photos from my recent Anilao trip! :)

Below is Portulano. Other than this resort, you can't find other shops or resorts on this part of island where it is accessible. BUT the 3 of us practically had exclusive use of the resort for 5 days out of the 8 days! We even had massage on the sun deck under the bright full moon and starry night! Enjoyment!

Well, 2 mad men taking photos of each other at the jetty... And of course, another insane woman stole a shot of the 2 of them! :O

Some diving highlights... Below is porcelain crab...

Stonefish - never realise that they have such colourful fins!

Such colourful fire urchin. They are prevalent in sites that are polluted.

We were fortunate to stumble across this giant Triton! It is the enemy of urchins, for it eats them! Triton certainly helps to keep the corals alive.

Saw the crab? It was only about 2cm. I had a hard time trying to capture a good shot of it as it was so tiny and its movements were so fast! Have yet to find out its name though.

Psst... This is R-rated! This pair of nudibranches are in the midst of making love!!

Another colourful nudibranch...

Here is a cute one!

Merry Christmas!

X'mas is just less than 2 days away and everyone seems to be on a last minute shopping frenzy trying to get the long X'mas gift list all tick off. Seriously, I do not think I am much better in that for I never have an easy time with pressies. It is tough to get something that I think the intended recipient will like ( that is within my budget!). It is more like throwing darts and see if I manage to hit the bull eye or miss it totally.. Arrgh...

Do I have a wild and hectic party plan around X'mas? The answer is no… Somehow I have outgrown that and will prefer quieter get togethers… Call me attitude… old… or spoilt sport… But one cannot expect my likings or activities to remain the same after all these years…

Still, X'mas is my favourite festive season. There are so many activities revolving around this day, and the whole town seems alive! Such contagious mood. More importanly, I like the idea of sharing and caring behind this day.

Merry X'mas, folks! Have a great fun time out there!

These 2 weeks

I went MIA for awhile… the reasons were many:

1 . My CPU at home went up in a smoke literally 2 weeks ago, tripping the whole electricity circuit in the house. Still waiting for repair options, so there is no pc for use at home for the time being.

2. I was busy packing my luggage for my Philippines trip, handling my kittens and doing last minute practises for the Standard Chartered Marathon.

3. I was away in Anilao to eat, sleep and dive for the whole of last week.

4. Was back in office more than half dead yesterday after landing in Singapore very late night on Sun, and was rushing to get everything in order for the evening X'mas party at Dempsey Hill.

Will try do more updates on my marathon and Anilao trip if I get the chance… Otherwise, they should remain as pure memories. Haaa...

Nitrox Certified

I took my Nitrox test yesterday evening. It was only 25 MCQ and it was easy. I took less than 20mins to finish the questions and scored 100%. If only I knew earlier, I would not have tried so hard trying to study that stupid book - it was super duper boring!

Now that I got my Enriched Air Diver Specialty certification, I am all geared up for my Philippines diving trip from Dec 7 to 14… :-D :-) ;-P

Anilao, here I come! Sea creatures, wait for me!

Sick week

I was sick most of the time last week somehow. It started on a Tue, and it came and went for the following few days. The worst hit was Friday, where I had diarrhoea for 6x in the morning before I took pills to stop it. I had a very bad hit of stomach cramp spasms thereafter in the evening where I almost went berserk in office. And the irony was that I had seen a doctor just an hour before that, and the doctor was still saying that I looked well and should be on my way to recovery for my stomach flu! :O Cancelled everything that I planned to do on a Fri evening, I headed home with some assistance.

I was running a fever too as I laid on bed that night, but it was indeed a relief to be back home resting. I slept and slept that night, waking up every now and then. I was supposed to attend a friend’s church wedding on Sat afternoon, but yes, I skipped that as well… My body was too weak after fighting the whole night, and the weather outside was too hot for someone like me to be out there…

Good news is I should have recovered… cos I had resumed my run (but a short one) last evening…

What's next?

When results do not match up to expectations
What’s next?

When actions do not tally with words
What’s next?

When words do not reflect innermost feelings and emotions
What’s next?

When the heart is loggerhead with the brain
What’s next?

Is there a best way?

It has been a year

I was officially 1 year old in my company on 4 Nov. What an achievement for someone like me! Hah. It had been a fruitful one year – many things to learn, adapt and handle.

It wasn’t exactly an easy journey in this company but I supposed I should not be complaining too much. It is so much better than my previous experience, for at least there isn’t that much politicking here that drives me up the wall, and there are enough challenges to keep me constantly on my toes and set me thinking more.

Of course the future is unknown – how long and far in this company, I do not know. But for the time being, I figure I just need to keep going, and the future will unravel by itself… hopefully in a positive way.