My Retribution

Words should never be said too early…
For it was a nightmare for the rest of the week…
Suddenly, all things were urgent…
Heaps of meetings, tons of things to do, countless of errands…
My meals were messed up, my breathing seemed to come to a halt…
My retribution uh?!
Uhm!

I am sick

Long story short here ah.. I got an illness recently, or rather from start of this week. Okee, I do not know "start of this week" is fact or a belief to start off with. Maybe it has been there all along! Haaa…

I am down with lan(3) duo(4) bing(4), i.e. lazy disease. I think it is a super strong virus attack and it is cancerous. I can feel my limps rotting away, my liver and lungs decaying, and my brain and heart dying…

Although there may be mountain high of work piling up, but what can be so urgent that the company would collapse if I dun address it? Does anyone bother? Does it matter? What for and for who if I put in extra effort to go the extra mile? Can’t I get away with it like all other people who are experts in these taiji and “smoking” martial art?

Thus this is the current state:

Do not feel like doing, do not feel like pushing it through, do not feel like bothering… Dun know, dun care, dun bother…

How long is this going to last? I dunno… I have yet to get any inspiration (read: identifying the root of the problems) from my run in gym yesterday night. I thought I might... Uhm.

So bottom line: let's wait and see – either I get killed for my lazy disease or I may get a miraculous cure?!


P.S: It is irritating when I know clearly that the price to pay can be very high… but then again, I am too lazy to think through this as well.

Singapore won Olympics Silver Medal

Finally, it was a silver medal for Singapore after 48 long years. Li Jiawei, Feng Tianwei and Wang Yuegu came in 2nd in the women's table tennis team event yesterday at the Olympics. It was a proud moment to see Singapore flag hung up high with China and Korea.

It was expected that the girls would walk away with silver. After all, they were playing against China top rated team, consisting of the World's number 1 and 2 players. Of course, some also had commented that it was just a game of China against China - these 3 girls and their coach were all born and trained in China and recruited to Singapore for their paddling skills.

This controversy of foreign born players vs true blue local Singaporean players will not end just yet; however, this silver does set the standard for our local athletes. They finally have something to emulate - it is a hard slog to get to the top, but if you remain dedicated to your sports, your reward will eventually come. The lesson to be learnt is tremendous, though we undeniably still have a very long and tedious journey in sports.

Simply Runs...

Isn't it amazing what people take away from the same incident? Different people realise and learn different things, some people never did learn. How interesting. The depth of understanding, what is it dependent on? Is that a factor of intellect, mindfulness, life experience, or a willing to be open??...

I did an evening run at ECP after work last Friday. The distance covered was modest - only 10km, but I enjoyed the run itself. It was my first evening run at ECP, thus it was a brand new experience for me. I enjoyed the breeze, scenery, jog, companions and the experience itself. I got new jogging partners for that night, but that could possibly be the first and last time that the 3 of us were doing it together...

It was a long story leading up to the run itself. It started off as a simple consensus to do a run together. Then some issues cropped up - we obviously had different points of views to this pact. Then there was the logistics challenge - where to run, and how to handle our barangs…

In the end, we decided on ECP that very evening, and I was glad we picked that place. Ignoring all the issues that cropped up along the way (and some were not and still have not been addressed properly), I still had fun last Fri… Oh, I should add that my upper thighs were aching thereafter! *rolled eyes*

So, is that run an end or a means to an end? We all did what we agreed upon, i.e. the run on 080808. Yet, what is important - the actual run, or the preparation towards it? And what comes after the run? Does it stop and end there? Or it signifies the start for more to come? Is it just about completing that run or it encompasses more complex issues underneath – the purpose of it, and a reflection of who and how you are? It is funny how different each of our focus point and point of views can be. It shows how uniquely different we human beings can be.

Whichever, I did another run at ECP on Sunday morning. After the experience on Fri, I decided to alter my Sat night running routine and try out a different route under different conditions. I must be a mountain turtle indeed, for I was surprised to see so many runners on a Sun morning there! Haaa… (U see, I am never an early riser on weekends!). This time round, I covered slightly longer distance, 16km or so with Dan. Somehow the changes in the conditions made the run stretchier than usual. In the same run, I realised that I ought to train more under the sun so that my body can get used to heat, which slows me down a lot.

More runs to be made happen at ECP going forward, be it after work or on weekend mornings, thanks to Fri trial run.

No NDP

Yes, I may be one of those few who super duper love to be at the National Day Parade itself… It is of so much fun to be there! The mood is contagious!

Yet, I got no ticket to be there this year. :( So as a matter of silent protest, I ended up sleeping from 7pm to 830pm on Sat night… till the whole NDP was over and done with…

Did I say that I was unable to fall asleep at night due to the late nap? Duh.

只是小毛病吗？

Extracted partthereof again:

每个人。。。自然也有不想被看到的阴暗面。这些阴暗面说不定连自己都未曾察觉。。。 你不去面对这些阴暗面，因为你不喜欢这样的自己，但是躲避并不表示它不存在。工作、家庭、人际交往中的很多问题，说不定都有“阴暗面”作祟。

这“阴暗面”就像个小鬼，时不时出来发飚，很难克服。

“千里之堤，溃于蚁穴。”很长很长的堤坝，因为小小蚁虫的啃噬，最后也会被摧毁。所以不要小看自己的小毛病，这些小毛病的积累可能会使你的人生毁于一旦。

进行“内窥镜”的过程是痛苦的，就像面对自己坏习惯的过程中，难免会挣扎一样。但自我反省。。。只要你愿意，随时可以进行。

Finally, some photos

Oh yes, finally a few photos here of my recent Manado dive trip. :)

Spearing mantis shrimp, do not mess with it for its pincers are powerful enough to break your diving mask!


Coconut octopus... Why does it like to squeeze itself into such a tiny place?


Emperor shrimps - female and male. Female is always domineering - bigger in size certainly!


Can you tell that it is a spider crab?! :-O I tried so hard to make sense out of it!


Nudibranch!


Frogfish, with full of warts. Ha.


Finally, a nice shot of the mandarinfish after 10min of waiting and shooting!


Banggai Cardinalfish, found only at 2 places, one of which is Lembeh Straits


Leaf frogfish, lotsa colour variation - pink, purple, white etc.


How do you like your teeth to be cleaned by cleaner shrimps?

My thots for the day

Sometimes, I think I am a fool, and being made a fool of.

Am I too gullible? Do I look dumb? Am I easily brushed aside?

Or am I puerilely stupid enough to believe you?

Do not give empty commitments that I plainly (and naively) hold your words to.

Do not promise me something that you have no intention of delivering.

It is not about how big or small the agreements are – every action speaks especially when it matters.

Give me that a few times, and you know I would totally erase you off.

No more please

Ok, I had lost sleep for the past two nights. It took me a long while to toss and turn in bed before I drifted into my sleep.

It must be the 3 cups of O'cha that I had at Iciban on Sun; I still cannot find the culprit for last night. Maybe I was getting too anxious to fall asleep - it was already past midnight and I know what a torture it would be for me when I woke up next day early morning. Maybe I had too much soft drink yesterday night, i.e. too much caffeine again?? *scratch head*

Whichever, no more of this please… I am already a walking zombie most mornings. :(

"The Last Lecture"

Have you read "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch? I had... with thanks to DT who t-loan the book to me.

Randy was diagnosed with metastasised pancreatic cancer, and he gave this "last lecture" to inspire people to live to their fullest, and to leave behind some teaching messages for his three young kids. A recording of it was uploaded on YouTube and millions had viewed it. He is also the co-writer of the book, which is still on the top list of best sellers.

The Last Lecture was an easy-to-read book - all about realising your dreams, how each step leads you to where you want to be, injecting creativity and having fun along the way.

I had joy reading this book, just that I found it to be a little too dry at the last few chapters, where the content was getting a little too short to drive across thoughts meaningfully. If there is a need to compare, I would still prefer "Tuesdays with Morrie" - a moving book that show profound insights about living life to the fullest. Yet, there should be no comparison, isn't it? It is just a different style of writing.

Randy just passed away last Friday at an age of 47. Grab that book if you have not read it, or view the video on YouTube if you want to.

Madness?

Yes, I have signed my life away again for Standard Chartered Singapore Run 2008…. Past year runners still have 30% additional discount off the early bird registration fee… Ya, right… such good deal, isn't it? *cynical snort*

Certainly, "life is an enrolment game". Cos the best news is I managed to drag 2 other people to be with me in this Dec 7 run… Did you see my devil horns? Together we should suffer… Muahahaa…

Depending on how you see it, it is time to create another new relationship between time and result:

1. Every run like this means improving the previous recorded timing and thus result, or

2. Three months is a short time to train for a marathon if you have been lazy in running or you have not been running longer distance at all… Is it stretchy? Yes. Is it possible? Yes… So it is an achievable goal afterall (with lotsa sweat, pain and effort!). More time doesn't mean you will be more prepared or ready anyway. Quoting Adidas "Impossible is nothing"…

Oh yes, I must be insane...

Back from Manado

8 days in Manado just zoomed past… Time seems unstoppable..

We spent 6 days diving, with 5 days around Bunakan and 1 day in Lembeh Straits. Lotsa of beautiful wall dives around Bunakan National Park, but we were just drifters - we drifted along with the underwater current from wall to wall after awhile…. We were totally dependant on the dive guide to find the water creatures for us… Oops… haha...

It was fantastic muck diving at Lembeh… We all love Lembeh for all the weird creatures spotted. Oh yes, we felt more sense of achievement as we went around spotting heaps and heaps of creatures by ourselves. Too bad that we could not make another day trip there – we could not make up the minimum number of eight to go. Otherwise, we could only be more thrilled.

I must say that Eco-divers are really professional in their dive trips - well organised, experienced, thoughtful and hassle-free. I have never seen a dive operator that runs dives so smoothly before. All thumbs up for them!

I took hundreds of underwater photos! You see, I am not a steady photographer, neither do I have a solid camera, so of course I need to take more shots of each so that I have higher chance of getting it right. *shrug*. Some shots are really crappy, I must say… And well, I am laid back - I did not screen through all of my photos nor did I try to organise them properly yet though I am back for 3 days already… So no photos for viewing till I get down to doing them...Opps again.

All we did during the past one week were eat, sleep, dive + talk cock… (Too much eating in fact...No wonder my weighing scale seems to be giving way...) Totally relaxing... Indeed, my companions were hilarious. I simply could not stop laughing most of the time. And yes, each of us committed many stupid yet funny hiccups during our gearing up for dives that we just fell flat on the floor laughing at one another. We are new divers la… haaa….

I cannot wait for the next holidays to come... Should start planning now. Where is my calendar? :P

Manado

In a week time, I am heading down to Manado, Indonesia. What else but for diving? I am very burnt out recently, thus this break is badly needed.

Will be staying at Tasik Ria, and diving with Eco Divers based there. We will be making trips down to Lembeh Straits as well, as that place is well known for their macro life. It will be a pity to miss it when Lembeh is so close to Manado.
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Another week of eat, sleep and dive! Sun-kissed beaches, fascinating underwater life, relaxing days + 3 other bubbly fun diving kakis!

I can’t wait! :)))

To do or not to do?

To do or not to do? $38 for 21km…(super price inflation compared to only $12 two years ago!!) And today is the last day to decide before the price jerks up to $48… (H*ly Sh*t!)

I am talking about the Singapore Bay Run on 24 Aug.

Sat - Sentosa Day

I spent my Sat at Sentosa… My bro got 4 tickets at his company at a discounted price. So I just tagged along. I mean what is fun without me around? Ha…

So we watched the 4D movie, experienced the simulated ride at Cinemax, took the Sky Ride twice, as well as the Luge rides… Woohs, the luge rides were fun, just that the distance was a bit too short to make us feel shiok.

Oh yes, there was some commotion while we were queuing at Cinemax. For some reasons, the whole Sentosa was packed with Indians that day. That aside, there was a big crowd at Cinemax and the weather was really hot, and all of us had been queuing for 45min just to get into the Cinemax. So we had this bunch of inconsiderate Indians just in front of us. They were big, fat, noisy and simply rude. I think all of our limits were tested when they simply waved to their kakis (not 1, not 2, but a total of 6 of them!) and asked them to cut the queue when they were at the entrance… Well, for those who have yet to know, one of my hottest buttons is for someone to cut my Q just right in front of me. I would bite off their heads regardless of who they are. So, yes, they got it. I was loud enough to make them feel embarrassed though they still attempted to justify that they got a kid, and they were there all along at the side (that was definitely NOT true). However, heaven was on our side - the people attempting to cut Q did not have the tickets with them. So much for their intelligence. All thumbs down for their rudeness, inconsiderate behaviour and their high-and-mighty air… I wonder if they were ever bothered by the disgusted looks of the others in the queue. But of course, we did not allow such people to spoil our fun at Sentosa…

The best part - I fell into a slumber after a super duper unhealthy feast of chicken wings, fried bee hoon, luncheon meat etc for dinner… The time then was 7.30pm. By the time I regained FULL conscious, it was 8.30am… the next day. A total of 13 hours of sleep! Another record-breaking sleep!!! OMG!

My lunch today

I attended a networking lunch cum presentation at noon today. It was a networking session meant for marketers in the financial industry. Arrghh, I do hate sessions like this… But well, my boss requested me to join… so I did not have much a choice.

Aside all the stuff that I resist at an occasion like this, I must say I was very glad to have attended this presentation. It was… such a moving one. Yes, it was supposed to be a presentation from this guy whom has been through Bali bombing, the Tsunami etc, so it was supposed to be a presentation on how you can strive in adverse situation and changes, yet still able to deliver results in the corporate world.

Yet, this Peter, all he touched on was how he was at the Tsunami (he is a forensic, assisting them in helping to identify the bodies) - how all these people had been, showed us video clips of the actual situation and the orphans, some stories from him. Peter was indeed captivating - he moved many of us on the personal level, especially those parents. You could see tears in some of those eyes when you cast your sight across the 4 round tables…

Peter brought up a few important points during his 40mins presentation, on “clear objectives and purposes”, “results matter, not excuses”, “leadership”, “leadership without authority”, as well as reaching out on a personal level to get people moving and making choices to stop or to go on… At the last of his slide, he got this: “You only have ONE go.”

To me, it was a very in-depth presentation that overtly highlighted about the less fortunate, being very clear on the objectives and delivering the results. On the 2nd level, it touched on how we, in the corporate world could apply those… On the deeper level, it is a presentation that cleverly and covertly brings together the whole lesson of life itself, about how you need to be clear about your compelling desire or purpose, so that you can get through both the good and bad days, making choices, getting to where you want to go, about team work, team players, about reaching out to the less fortunate and that we only have ONE life – so cherish today.

Such a powerful presentation, such a great life lesson… I am totally humbled by him.

My 25 Blessings

I have been thinking quite a fair bit recently…(But then again, some people whom know me intimately will say when did I ever stop thinking?! Lolz…)

I suppose human beings can be greedy at times – good and want better, have and want more… I always think it is a thin line between contentment and laid back, being competitive and creating more results, determined and stubborn… The only difference is the space you are operating from…

Thus, I want to count my blessings today…so that I reground myself to appreciate all stuff that are happening in my life now… to focus on the positives, not the negatives… to have my energies on what are working, and not to dwell on what are not…

My list of 25 blessings:

1. I am still alive and kicking…
2. I am healthy and fit… in fact in a much better physical fitness than I was few years back
3. I have a loving man who takes care of me well and good
4. I have some quality friends who embrace me with grace and stand by me always
5. I am in a job with no micro managing boss
6. I can leave office by 6pm most of the days, and still see daylight when I reach home
7. My colleagues are generally ok and helpful
8. I have the luxury to sleep in late over the weekends
9. When my heart desires, I simply go for runs or swims
10. I always have a worthy companion who joins me in all the above activities
11. My parents have no major ailments that are that worrying
12. My brothers are grown up and can take care of themselves
13. I am close to my 2 brothers… we have fun together, pig out together, can raise our voices with one another and know that nothing is going to spoil the bonding…
14. I get to go on holidays many times a year
15. Able to dive and explore the deep blue sea are eye-opening and breathtaking experiences
16. I have fun loving travel companions who are forever interesting
17. To be able to admire the beauty of the clouds, sunrises, and sunsets…
18. I always trip and fall, but there are people who will reach out to hold me
19. I earn a decent income, enough to sustain my style of living
20. I do not have a high debt ratio
21. When I fall sick, I always get undivided attention from my man :P
22. At least my stubborn dad still listens to me, so I still have my ways around him
23. I do not need to do most of the housework… Haa
24. To have luxury for simple enjoyment such as the time to listen to all my favourite songs, be in my quiet space, read my books…
25. I always get to eat my favourite food and tibits!

YIPPEE!

My day...

Yup, sick. Fighting off a fever, sore throat… and apparently a cold since yesterday… I could feel my mucus back flowing down my throat! Icky! And that was what I told the doctor when I was there to see him in the later afternoon… and then I realized that I got blood in my urine... Apparently I was not dreaming though I initially thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Then I saw it the 2nd time, and the 3rd, and felt the burning sensation… and the urge to visit the Ladies even though I had just been there 5 minutes ago…

So I went back to the same doctor within an hour and did a urinary test to confirm that… Win!

So well, have been a really LON…..NNG time since I have had a fever. Usually that spells bad news for me – my body really cannot fight it off… But I have taken the pills and feeling much better now… The best news is I am still in office now, one of the rare few occasions that I am still in office after 7pm… But I am not exactly doing work now… I just need to wait for my transport to get me home. I am too exhausted to get onto the train and be a squashed up sardine.

Still alive and kicking certainly. And no need to come to work tomorrow. Hooray?! Haa….

From Socrates to Goleman: Some quotes

Below are some stuff that I came across. Yes, as usual, they caught my attention…

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“ The unexamined life is not worth living… know thyself.”

Socrates, 399 BC, Ancient Greek Philosopher

“He who does not remember the past is condemned to repeat it”

George Santayana, 1905, Spanish born US Philosopher

“If we are too busy, if we are carried away every day by our projects, our uncertainty, our craving, how can we have the time to stop and look deeply into our situation?"

Thich Nhat Hanh, Contemporary Buddhist Philosopher

“Emotional Intelligence begins with this trait (self-awareness). People with a high degree of self-awareness know their weaknesses and are not afraid to talk about them…”

“Self-awareness is defined as the ability to recognize and understand one’s moods, emotions and drives, as well as their effect on others”

Daniel Goleman, 21st Century Author

Self-awareness is the foundation upon which all growth and development is built. Only when you have developed a high sense of self-awareness will you be able to free yourself from your unconscious habits and begin to rediscover the ability to make conscious choices based on the needs of the situation you face.

It is our belief that we always need to grow. In order for growth to be present, we need to know from where to start. It is like any journey. You need to know where you are going but also from where you are setting out. Not where you think you are, but where you really are!

Letting go

A stretch it is
A limit it drags
Gone with the wind is ignoring
As the thoughts fondle louder

The only way out is through
Though pain is deep true
The door is only one:
Letting go