Twinklet Jolie

The more you desire something, the more it may elude you. The more you try to be oblivious to things, the more you may just observe. Such ironies, isn’t it? *Sigh*

Anyway, I bought something for myself today. I saw it during lunch today and this shop was having a 30% discount for all the items of that range. I do not know why, but somehow they make my heart tinkle the first time I set sight on them... Perhaps it is because they are really colourful and cute...

By coincidence, I was back at the same shopping mall this evening. I was wandering aimlessly, walking in and out of shops for awhile, when suddenly the thought of buying it came to my mind again, and I spent awhile wrestling with myself if I should get it for myself… Haha… Yes, it is something pretty useless though it is not expensive. The best part is I could spend such a long time thinking whether I should get it for myself or not. :-O

Yup, I bought the mobile charm of Twinklet Jolie. Yes, this small little mobile charm brought a smile to my face... Yes yes, please pardon me!! I know I can be, at times, such a kid – into such childish stuff, and little and simple things like this can make me delighted already...

And yes, me being me again… + perhaps I am too free… So I went to surf the net for them to discover that there is a story about them one! Haha... Here is part of the extract:

“The Twinklets: J.J, Jolie, Jasper and Jaz came from a crystal land...... Together, the Twinklets form a colourful but a happy group. Those who meet them can’t help but smile. Given their big, crystal eyes, the Twinklets can see very clearly. They know that life is better and simpler when there is openness and nothing to hide...”

And about Jolie: “She is a born princess and is all about pink. She is J.J’s little sister and loves to be at the center of attention. Sometimes, she can be a bit of a know-it-all, but she is very popular and a real party girl.”

Can’t take a clear shot of Jolie as she is pretty small in size. But I managed to get the figurine jpg of her online... So here she is...

I am never exactly into pink, but well.. she is so pinkishly cute... :P

My Sunday

I was at NUH in the afternoon to visit a friend whose index finger got crushed by the forklift. Fortunately, he was fine, just that he needs time to let his badly crushed finger get well. Think his finger would not be as nimble as before, but well, personally I think he is already blessed that the forklift did not get him hurt in more serious ways.

And oh yes, I got a few good buys today! As I was near Queensway shopping centre, thus I decided to make a trip down there to see if I can get my Crocs slippers. Yes, I suddenly decided 2 days ago that I want a pair of Crocs. Since they are known for comfort, and I am always out in slippers most of the time when I am not at work, I supposed they are worth the buy. Furthermore, I could wear this pair waterproof slippers for my holidays and diving… One pair of shoes to walk round the world. Haha.

Here is my new pair of Crocs slippers. I like the green colour.. keke..



Taking the chance that I was already at Queensway, I browsed through the sports shops for my Saucony MC Stabil running shoes, since the pair that I have is pretty worn out at the soles. As usual, it is not easy to find this brand, not to say the women model. Finally, I saw a familiar shoe at this corner shop, and yes, it is MC Stabil 5! However, the shop owner said that MC Stabil 6 will only be here later. :( Yet, surprises are always at unexpected corners cos he pointed to another pair of shoes and said that that pair is better. On closer inspection, I realised it was Mizuno Alchemy 7!! Gosh, I was pleasantly surprised as I did have a fruitless time trying to find Alchemy 5 a year+ ago.

So yes, I bought Alchemy 7 to see how they compare with my Saucony... Here are my new pair of shoes.

I did my virgin run around my new estate in my new shoes too. Hmm, think Alchemy 7 shoes are not as well-cushioned as MC Stabil 5, though lighter. Well, I need to go for a longer distance to see if they provide good stability to my severely over-pronated feet. Nevertheless, the run was good - new route, new experience… Not to say I have laid off running for quite awhile except the times when I was meddling with the gym treadmill. The moon was full, unblocked and pretty again. Having her as a companion adds mood to the run… :)

徐怀钰《心中的遗憾》

I recently fell in love with this song by Yuki Xu Huai Yu《心中的遗憾》。This is Yuki’s debut song after being out of action for a really long while. It is a song that paints a very vivid story, and I have yet to get sick of this song even though it can be on a repeated play mode at times for the past 4 weeks at least. This song is very well received in the local Chinese radio stations too…

I like this phrase especially:

“两颗心交会的时候
一分钟就足够
够我一辈子想念很久”

“When two hearts connect, one minute is enough for me to reminisce for a lifetime...”

Here is the MV…

14072007

This is a super late post. But well, I finally got the time to write a bit more…

Yes, 14072007 is finally over. It was a huge relief... as in it was a tiring affair to get such a big event going from ground zero. Coupled with the house, it was a complete total nightmare with many nights of little sleep and lotsa running around to make sure things are handled.

The day started very early at 4am. I was up by then, having a min sleep of only 2h. My sister entourage was there with me at 5am. Guess most of them were like half awake when they arrived... But I figured they did have great fun over sabotaging the guys.. haha..

The evening solemnisation started at 610+pm. The ferry walk-in was a fresh idea to me. The ride was short, just 5min, but I certainly felt at home the moment I was out at the sea. It was a very touching moment for me when I saw so many familiar faces standing around as I walked down from the boat to the gazebo. And yes, the moment I said "I do" and signing on the paper, the feelings were very mixed. Yet, it was over even before the feeling sank in. The sunset at 6+pm was romantic at RM, a sight with all the yachts, sea, blue sky and greenery. (Yes yes, I do love sunsets. Haha...) With the beautiful scenery as the backdrop, we spent some time taking photos with all the friends who had made the effort to be there early to witness our ceremony.

The night outdoor dinner... there were some hitches here and there like my dress zip was spoilt, relatives turned up to be more etc etc... Yet, I had totally surrendered for that night - no panicking, getting flustered or frustrated. In fact, I knew I was in good hands of many. So quoting, my job is to look pretty... haha.. The entourage walk-in was fun though it was a stretch for some of them. *Devilish laughter* But actually it is not a sabotage for them; to us, it is part of acknowledgement to them. The 'declaration' planned by B.B really took me by surprise. It never crossed my mind that he would go and think of things like that to say to me. Creative in a funny way, and yet, he could be so sweet. Being blurred, he lost his slip of paper that he has prepared, but I think that made what he got to say even closer to the heart.

The night was perfect - nice windy weather, good food, casual and relaxed atmosphere, great music with lotsa mingling. I love the band’s singing, though after the first 2 songs, I got no time to pay any more attention to them. I felt really blessed for the excellent weather that night, taking into consideration that it had rained on all other weekends in Jul. If it had rained, the consequences would be unthinkable as there was no backup plan at all!

It was finally something different too cos I am often pretty bored when I am seated down at a wedding dinner in a confined space... I do not know if others had such a great night for their own day, but personally, I had lotsa fun that night, and enjoyed myself thoroughly. The only regret is that we both did not have enough time to go around separately spending at least a few min with the guests at each table.

Furthermore, we had put in a lot of effort in handling all the big things like the food menu, flow of the day and the live band to the small details like the wedding favours & cards, table labels, guest cards, flowers deco etc, the satisfaction was great when the whole event went nicely as planned. However, I gotta attribute the whole day success to our coordinator and friends' gang who were there to 'weather' all hiccups and ensure that all was fine. I know it would never be such a great bang if not for them. And of course, how can I forget the fun-loving bunch of friends who were there, making the day even better than ever…? It is always the people around that made a day, an event, a place or a moment special.

Certainly, 140707 is a day which I would have a lot of fond memories of.

Phuket Trip

What a siong Sunday actually… Have been doing housework whole day long since I woke up mid morning… The chores seem endless, and I was dead beat when it was finally dinner time…

And yes, I just touched down airport close to 2am today only. I have spent 6 days @ Patong beach in Phuket from last Monday… A long awaited break from all the things here. The funny thing is time always seem to be in scarcity when one is on holidays!

And yup, it was a good getaway from the entire hectic schedule for the past months. It was like eat, sleep, relax and rot… I think this is the only holidays so far that I spent a lot of time taking beauty sleep – waking up late, taking naps almost every day. In fact, I spent the whole afternoon sleeping away when we got our hotel room on Mon. Such sinful indulgence…

2 days was spent at Patong beach itself, where we just lazed on the beach chair, watching the day went by, observing the people and actions on the beach, playing with the waves whenever we felt like it, and of course soaking up the sun, sea and breezes. Yup, how can I ever forget about diving in a place like Phuket? We spent 2 full days diving away at Racha Yai, King Cruiser Wreck, Shark Point and Koh Da Mai. We did a total of 5 dives, a whole new experience each time we hit the sea into the wonders of underwater. :)

I broke my own record – for the first time, I caught a movie overseas. Haha… Harry Porter and the Order of the Phoenix… The movie isn’t as fantastic as the previous sequels, but it was a good experience to be in another country’s cinema… The sofa sweet seats were darn good cos they were spacious!

Oh yes, the sunset at Patong beach was spectacular!! I could have just missed it cos it never crossed our mind about the sunset. Yet now, when I have witnessed the sight, I would say it would be a total regret for me if I have missed that. The skyline was amazing when the sun was setting. It was the last 1 and ½ hour at Phuket, and suddenly we decided to go to the beach to see if we could see the sunset. And gosh, when I was there, I was totally captivated by the beautiful sight. It was totally awesome! Like a hug that supercedes a thousand words, a picture will beat all words too...

This is when the sun just started to set...

The awesome skyline when the sun set more...

The Earrings

I have been wanting to blog after this for days… But ha, some things just took over in priority ranking.

Yes, my dad bought me a pair of gold earrings as a gift for me on my day. When I first know about it over the phone, I was close to tears. I did not know why, but I was just overwhelmed by feelings.

Reflecting, I know it’s because I felt loved. For the longest time, I never remember receiving a gift from my dad (of course, minus those toys that I got when I was a kid :P). And yes, the pair of earrings that he got me was less than $100. Perhaps many people will not even take a look at them. But to me, they are precious. To my 70 years old dad, that $100 is a lot of money… We were never rich… and he never has savings too… thus I have never expected anything from him all these years… As such, his act has really surprised and touched me deeply. I mean, the thought of buying something for me is already more than enough for me…

Many things to me, is not about $ though I personally believe in savings for raining days. I am not exactly bothered if you do have $ or not, or if you have been buying me expensive gifts recently or not. Of course, I love gifts - they make me happy, especially when you have gone out of the way to get something that I have been eyeing or need. Thus, I appreciate gifts regardless of their value. Yet, there are other things that I look out for too, perhaps in more subtle ways. Acts and thoughts of love, expressed in all little ways, far superseded what just money can buy... irreplaceable and non-tradable.

I wonder...

Are my eyes grey today? Or the sky was generally grey even thought the sun was scorching hot today? Or perhaps I am tired or it is the night and the music that add on to my mood... so much so that I am this bluez since yesterday evening…

Or is it things have happened, and have acted as trigger points for me to ponder deeper about them and other things...? Maybe I am really “too smart” for my own good that I fail to close my eyes to certain realizations… Or maybe I am so blind that I fail to see beyond all these.

Maybe I need re-grounding again. Maybe I need to do basics and advance all over again. Maybe I need catharsis. I am losing sights of things. What a time to be caught in this kind of reflective mood too…

I was reminded that I ought to celebrate more about my results and acknowledge myself more often for where I am today. Searching through my archive memory, this word “self acknowledgement” suddenly seems foreign to me now… I did forget that it exists. Really, what is there to celebrate for the longest time? What is there to acknowledge?

No wonder I always said 我命贱... I am really sourcing to make my life more difficult than it should be. I am not doing myself a favour. I hope I will wake up on the right side of the bed tomorrow and what I feel today will be history.

Toilet & Running

Isn't it amazing? It only took me 2 days to know that I was in the wrong place. Yet, 2 weeks passed by, then 2 months, then 4 months, then 7 months, and still counting... Something came along at the 2nd month though, and I rejected it after thinking through...

Isn't it the same as being in a stinking toilet? The very first moment I stepped in, I pinched my nose and complained that it stinks. After 5 mins, the nose got used to it, and the toilet did not seem to smell that bad anymore. Perhaps in an hour, I would have forgotten that I was in a dirty and smelly toilet?

Yet, I am constantly reminded that I am in a toilet, a stinking one some more. It is hard to get used to the stench, cos as I walked around the toilet, I found more dirt and more shit. However, I am also accepting that discovering more shit is normal in this toilet...

Yet again, months can fly past just like that if I look at it another way. Close an eye, and soon it will be 12 months, 15 months, 24 months...? Just be easy with it, and all will just be easy. Time can be kind in this instance?

It is akin to running... As the run progresses, the breathing gets heavier, the sweat is like water, the face starts to turn 'green', legs start wanting to give way.. Thought of stopping flashes, questions of why I am putting myself up for all these pop up all over the place.

Yet, I just want to cross the finishing line... thus endurance comes into play. "Endure. You can do it. Just keep going. Reaching soon. Just a little bit more only...Keep moving...” The chant will be replayed over and over again in my head when the going gets tough, psychoing myself to keep going... till I see the finishing point.. And when I cross it, the feelings of triumph and relief set in.

Sometimes, I wonder that spirit of mine is constantly used on the wrong people, places, situations and times.

There is a reason why I am here, and why I am still here... For the time being, it is still the best choice, so I cannot and should not grumble that much. People always make the best choice at any point in time, isn't it? Sometimes, I hate it cos I know that too clearly...

Let's test where my limit is again, see what unexpected will happen along the way, and how the whole experience will affect me going forward.

My 200th...

This is my 200th post. A year has passed since I have started blogging. Again, time seems to creep past unknowingly.

Similarly, I cannot help but to read some of my previous entries randomly. My first 2 entries... they were all related to same thing... haha... And I am pretty amazed by some of the things that I had written... The things that happened, the thoughts that went through and the feelings that came up for me...

I wonder how much I have grown over this one year, or am I status quo? Or worse still, am I retarding?

If you have been in my life for the past one year, close to me, I thank you for being around with me this one year. I must have blogged you among the 200 posts, be it you know it or not... You have made a difference in my life... Sorry if I may have been a horrible terror and a darn bitch at times... But at the end of it all, I am appreciative of your presence and your limitless patience with me.

Let's see what I will be doing at my 400th post, provided that I am still blogging... and that I am still alive and kicking...

...??

Sometimes, it is not because I do not want to
In fact, I would certainly love to...

Yet, I can't...
For one reason or another

It's the price I am paying
For mistakes committed previously...

You

Many moments shared
Inerasable & irreplaceable
Well tucked somewhere
Memories sprang out
At corners unexpected

Facing you at times
Words get lost
Such mixed feelings
I can't even get clear
These intertwined emotions

If words are as easy as thoughts
Will it be easier?
All the “ifs”
Will not happen
Maybe only in imagination

Yet you’re important to me
As always, for many a reason
Walking thru this life journey
I am glad to have you
Be a part of it…

Latest...

Time literally flies recently. There seems thousand and one thing to do… Yet, it also seems like I have achieved nothing.

Weekend can be a nightmare when I try to crash it with so many to-do things… Weekend is the only time that I can handle all the errands and personal stuff…And time never seems to be enough. But yes, finally my Guo Da Li day was over last Sun. I was really shacked out by the time I was done for the day.

Yet, time at work seems to be forever. It is a dilemma. On one hand, I hope that time will just fly past in work; on the other hand, I wish I got more time for myself, other people and other things … Tough life… haha…

Oh yes, my mom has been driving me really mad recently. She is soooo tough to handle, that I really feel like biting her head off literally. I can feel my blood vessels ready to explode any moment… But I do think I have the urge to bite off many people’s heads recently. My tolerance level is especially low recently.

To me, it is simple. If you do not want to do something, or are simply waiting for me to handle it for you, then when I do it, you shut up and do not complain and pick on the things that I have done. If you want it your way, please go and handle it yourself. Do not give me a stretch of trying to guess what you want, to accommodate your needs and make me run around for you, only to hear you complaining…

So no more stretch for me, please. Make things easier for me. Do not wait for me to handle things. I rarely know how to shout for helps. So when I get tired of waiting, I will do it myself even though I may struggle… Do not let me second guess your needs as well. Just tell me straight in the face. If I can do it, I will.. If I can't, then... I also dunno how.. haha..

Last Night...

When was the last time you have some quiet time to yourself? Was it yesterday, a week ago, or you can't even remember?

It was a Wed night, past midnight. The neighbourhood was quiet. Such serenity. The radio was on, playing some oldies, and the soothing melody filled the house. The sky was clear. Out on the balcony, I could hear the sounds of the water downstairs. The gentle breeze on the face was a good feeling. Staring into the sky, I realised the stars were out to play. It was certainly a beautiful sight, and a great moment...Yes, it is usually too bright locally to see lotsa stars. However, I realised if you pay attention at times, you may notice the sky can be filled with quite a number of them.

... There are too many things that you and I may have taken for granted... Being caught in the rat race, we sometimes may get so caught up with the challenges and nitty gritty of the fast-paced life... that we fail to even stop for a moment to appreciate the beauty and amazements that surround us all the time.

It is so easy to lose oneself... to forget why one has started out for... to miss out or take for granted those people whom have always been around... it is also easy to get out of touch and disconnected with one's innermost feelings too...

Learning to appreciate the small details can bring moments of happiness, I suppose. Constant reminders to myself is necessary.

《我不想忘记你》

Heard this song over the radio for the first time… N once again, a liner caught my attention.

Managed to get this song in my collection now. Seems like it is not a new song. If I am not wrong, this is a song of a Chinese drama series in Taiwan. I like this song… The singer's voice is crispy clear and untainted. The lyrics... yes, it can be close to the heart of many.

Hmm, let me test my translation skills here, since I have been doing a fair bit of English to Chinese translation recently. Let's try doing the other way round.

The chorus in translated English in the most literal sense:

"I try hard to think of you
With tears in laughter
Letting myself love you deeply
And then learning to let go

I do not wish to forget you
Even if I can, I'd rather remember all the hurt

I try hard to think of you
Even if I am to tear, I do not mind
With best wishes and gratefulness
I lost you with courage

Loving you is a hard decision
But I'm not saying sorry..."

Is my translation skills good enough? :P

Gym...

I hit the treadmill properly for the first time in my whole life yesterday. Ok ok, I admit that I am a mountain turtle when it comes to the gym. I always think that I am idiot with all these equipments and I always got this funny image in my brain that I will fall flat on my nose while on the treadmill. Haha.

The matter of fact is, I have never like confined rooms for exercising, thus given a choice, I rather workout in other forms where I can come close to the air and nature outdoor. That gives me a sense of freedom…

Yet, yes, I have stopped jogging at my regular route for the past 3+ weeks already. Feeling restrained and pent-up, I decide to check out the gym room in the afternoon yesterday. For once, I did a proper run on the treadmill, though only 2x for an interval of 15 min each. At the same time, I played around with the cycling and weight machines too. I did not do much in that small room, however, it did feel good to break out into sweat.

Guess I may have to shift and do some jogging at the gym itself going forward. At least it is not weather-dependent. At least, I can play around with other machines too if my back or feet protest again. Yet, going gym is constrained by the closing hour of 10p.m. I figure there is no best of both worlds...ultimately, I have to reach a compromise.

Less is More

Saying less is more
... when trying becomes fruitless
... when judgments are stones
... when no wrong can be right and all rights become wrong
... when all senses are numbed
... when the best it can be is a zombie

*silence*

Recently again...

I have a lot that I will like to blog recently. Some of the happenings, as well as some of the thoughts and feelings that have flashed through recently. Yet, time is a constraint. Ha.. I can't seem to find the time to pen down all of them.

In summary, I realise trying to shift house is of no fun, packing too many to-do items in a day is so tiring and my energy is not enough to last me. Yet, I think the process should be enjoyed. My patience is running really dry at times, and I am really a perfectionist in the things that I do if I am to put it nicely, i.e. I am quite demanding in a blunt sense. I have not been jogging for the longest time too- at least 3 weeks, though I still hit the swimming pool once a week. Think I am getting unhealthier, fatter and uglier.

I am also very appreciative of many people, for all the loves showered, the nice gestures and for stepping in to support me in every little way possible. I know I am indeed very blessed to have these people around me... they make everything easier... And there are words of thoughts and feelings that I can never quite bring myself to say to some people. The hesitation sometimes makes me wonder what’s up with me.

I think that is about it. By the way, I have never been exactly good at summary since school days. I do not know how to pick up the main points and summarise. I always scored very badly. Haha.

The Way It Is?

Isn't the heart an unfathomable object?

A lot say that the heart would not lie, so just follow it. However, sometimes the heart is in a fuzzy mode too, isn’t it? Do not know whether the brain confuses it, or it confuses the brain… Whichever, the interaction of these 2 forces sometimes complicate a possibly simple matter.

Perhaps time is the best antidote to all fuzziness? Time help to clear all the doubts and bewilderment there may possibly be? … Provided one can hang on that long enough for the clouded mind or heart to clear.

Anyway, something unrelated (or possibly related?!?)… Here's a song that I fell in love with recently: Christina Baustista, The Way You Look at Me... Just click the "play" button twice to hear it. It is a beautiful piece...

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Kit

My cat, Kit is back at the animal clinic. She is hospitalised again. This is her 2nd time in after a week stay from 25 - 1 Jun. She got pancreatitis - inflammation of the pancreas, a gland organ in the digestive and endocrine systems.

She was looking chirper after 5 days stay in the clinic, and she was discharged on the 7th day on last Friday to be nursed at home. I also brought her for check-up on Mon, and the blood test showed she was getting better though her electrolytes number is still higher than the average.

However, on Tues, she vomitted her medicine and food a few times. The vet has already forewarned me that if she shows any odd signs like rejecting food, she ought to be sent back immediately.

So there she is again. I went to see her yesterday evening. She certainly seems legtharic and weak.

This is Kit, with the drip on her front right paw. I think she is feeling too sick to even want to stand up and walk. But I cannot blame her, cos she cannot eat nor drink anything. The drip keeps her going.

Another shot of her...

This is her drip. Hmm, she is on NaCl, Sodium Cloride i.e. salt water? It reminded me of my own drip the last time. Ha.

I hope she will get well soon… She is too precious...

Need to Get It Out of System

Firstly, I think I fail in acting… terribly. I do not know how to act otherwise from how I feel. If I do not like you, it is shown all over my face. If I do not want to entertain you, I will not bother. If I decide to draw the distance from you, I do not know how to act friendly in front of everyone else too. I do not know how to be that hypocritical. I am still learning, and think I still fail with an F9.

And do I create problems? Am I hard to get along?

I cannot explain myself clearly in many things. Sometimes, things happen and I am just there. In many other instances, I will not bother to explain much too. If you understand me as a person, you will know it better. And what point is there for me to say more if you are already assuming?

Strong appearances, is that a fault or a strength? Do not assume that I show up like I am stronger in characters mean I am the one going around creating troubles. Do not assume that I can take all things better just because I seem like I could. Do not assume that I am the difficult one just because of the ways I talk too.

Perhaps I have contributed to a certain situation in a sense or another. However, I will not have reacted the way I did if I am not pushed over a certain limit. And if there is any fault, I think it is because my acting is still immature. Given time, I think I will never really improve too. I do not have the talent for it…