You

Many moments shared
Inerasable & irreplaceable
Well tucked somewhere
Memories sprang out
At corners unexpected

Facing you at times
Words get lost
Such mixed feelings
I can't even get clear
These intertwined emotions

If words are as easy as thoughts
Will it be easier?
All the “ifs”
Will not happen
Maybe only in imagination

Yet you’re important to me
As always, for many a reason
Walking thru this life journey
I am glad to have you
Be a part of it…

Latest...

Time literally flies recently. There seems thousand and one thing to do… Yet, it also seems like I have achieved nothing.

Weekend can be a nightmare when I try to crash it with so many to-do things… Weekend is the only time that I can handle all the errands and personal stuff…And time never seems to be enough. But yes, finally my Guo Da Li day was over last Sun. I was really shacked out by the time I was done for the day.

Yet, time at work seems to be forever. It is a dilemma. On one hand, I hope that time will just fly past in work; on the other hand, I wish I got more time for myself, other people and other things … Tough life… haha…

Oh yes, my mom has been driving me really mad recently. She is soooo tough to handle, that I really feel like biting her head off literally. I can feel my blood vessels ready to explode any moment… But I do think I have the urge to bite off many people’s heads recently. My tolerance level is especially low recently.

To me, it is simple. If you do not want to do something, or are simply waiting for me to handle it for you, then when I do it, you shut up and do not complain and pick on the things that I have done. If you want it your way, please go and handle it yourself. Do not give me a stretch of trying to guess what you want, to accommodate your needs and make me run around for you, only to hear you complaining…

So no more stretch for me, please. Make things easier for me. Do not wait for me to handle things. I rarely know how to shout for helps. So when I get tired of waiting, I will do it myself even though I may struggle… Do not let me second guess your needs as well. Just tell me straight in the face. If I can do it, I will.. If I can't, then... I also dunno how.. haha..

Last Night...

When was the last time you have some quiet time to yourself? Was it yesterday, a week ago, or you can't even remember?

It was a Wed night, past midnight. The neighbourhood was quiet. Such serenity. The radio was on, playing some oldies, and the soothing melody filled the house. The sky was clear. Out on the balcony, I could hear the sounds of the water downstairs. The gentle breeze on the face was a good feeling. Staring into the sky, I realised the stars were out to play. It was certainly a beautiful sight, and a great moment...Yes, it is usually too bright locally to see lotsa stars. However, I realised if you pay attention at times, you may notice the sky can be filled with quite a number of them.

... There are too many things that you and I may have taken for granted... Being caught in the rat race, we sometimes may get so caught up with the challenges and nitty gritty of the fast-paced life... that we fail to even stop for a moment to appreciate the beauty and amazements that surround us all the time.

It is so easy to lose oneself... to forget why one has started out for... to miss out or take for granted those people whom have always been around... it is also easy to get out of touch and disconnected with one's innermost feelings too...

Learning to appreciate the small details can bring moments of happiness, I suppose. Constant reminders to myself is necessary.

《我不想忘记你》

Heard this song over the radio for the first time… N once again, a liner caught my attention.

Managed to get this song in my collection now. Seems like it is not a new song. If I am not wrong, this is a song of a Chinese drama series in Taiwan. I like this song… The singer's voice is crispy clear and untainted. The lyrics... yes, it can be close to the heart of many.

Hmm, let me test my translation skills here, since I have been doing a fair bit of English to Chinese translation recently. Let's try doing the other way round.

The chorus in translated English in the most literal sense:

"I try hard to think of you
With tears in laughter
Letting myself love you deeply
And then learning to let go

I do not wish to forget you
Even if I can, I'd rather remember all the hurt

I try hard to think of you
Even if I am to tear, I do not mind
With best wishes and gratefulness
I lost you with courage

Loving you is a hard decision
But I'm not saying sorry..."

Is my translation skills good enough? :P

Gym...

I hit the treadmill properly for the first time in my whole life yesterday. Ok ok, I admit that I am a mountain turtle when it comes to the gym. I always think that I am idiot with all these equipments and I always got this funny image in my brain that I will fall flat on my nose while on the treadmill. Haha.

The matter of fact is, I have never like confined rooms for exercising, thus given a choice, I rather workout in other forms where I can come close to the air and nature outdoor. That gives me a sense of freedom…

Yet, yes, I have stopped jogging at my regular route for the past 3+ weeks already. Feeling restrained and pent-up, I decide to check out the gym room in the afternoon yesterday. For once, I did a proper run on the treadmill, though only 2x for an interval of 15 min each. At the same time, I played around with the cycling and weight machines too. I did not do much in that small room, however, it did feel good to break out into sweat.

Guess I may have to shift and do some jogging at the gym itself going forward. At least it is not weather-dependent. At least, I can play around with other machines too if my back or feet protest again. Yet, going gym is constrained by the closing hour of 10p.m. I figure there is no best of both worlds...ultimately, I have to reach a compromise.

Less is More

Saying less is more
... when trying becomes fruitless
... when judgments are stones
... when no wrong can be right and all rights become wrong
... when all senses are numbed
... when the best it can be is a zombie

*silence*

Recently again...

I have a lot that I will like to blog recently. Some of the happenings, as well as some of the thoughts and feelings that have flashed through recently. Yet, time is a constraint. Ha.. I can't seem to find the time to pen down all of them.

In summary, I realise trying to shift house is of no fun, packing too many to-do items in a day is so tiring and my energy is not enough to last me. Yet, I think the process should be enjoyed. My patience is running really dry at times, and I am really a perfectionist in the things that I do if I am to put it nicely, i.e. I am quite demanding in a blunt sense. I have not been jogging for the longest time too- at least 3 weeks, though I still hit the swimming pool once a week. Think I am getting unhealthier, fatter and uglier.

I am also very appreciative of many people, for all the loves showered, the nice gestures and for stepping in to support me in every little way possible. I know I am indeed very blessed to have these people around me... they make everything easier... And there are words of thoughts and feelings that I can never quite bring myself to say to some people. The hesitation sometimes makes me wonder what’s up with me.

I think that is about it. By the way, I have never been exactly good at summary since school days. I do not know how to pick up the main points and summarise. I always scored very badly. Haha.

The Way It Is?

Isn't the heart an unfathomable object?

A lot say that the heart would not lie, so just follow it. However, sometimes the heart is in a fuzzy mode too, isn’t it? Do not know whether the brain confuses it, or it confuses the brain… Whichever, the interaction of these 2 forces sometimes complicate a possibly simple matter.

Perhaps time is the best antidote to all fuzziness? Time help to clear all the doubts and bewilderment there may possibly be? … Provided one can hang on that long enough for the clouded mind or heart to clear.

Anyway, something unrelated (or possibly related?!?)… Here's a song that I fell in love with recently: Christina Baustista, The Way You Look at Me... Just click the "play" button twice to hear it. It is a beautiful piece...

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Kit

My cat, Kit is back at the animal clinic. She is hospitalised again. This is her 2nd time in after a week stay from 25 - 1 Jun. She got pancreatitis - inflammation of the pancreas, a gland organ in the digestive and endocrine systems.

She was looking chirper after 5 days stay in the clinic, and she was discharged on the 7th day on last Friday to be nursed at home. I also brought her for check-up on Mon, and the blood test showed she was getting better though her electrolytes number is still higher than the average.

However, on Tues, she vomitted her medicine and food a few times. The vet has already forewarned me that if she shows any odd signs like rejecting food, she ought to be sent back immediately.

So there she is again. I went to see her yesterday evening. She certainly seems legtharic and weak.

This is Kit, with the drip on her front right paw. I think she is feeling too sick to even want to stand up and walk. But I cannot blame her, cos she cannot eat nor drink anything. The drip keeps her going.

Another shot of her...

This is her drip. Hmm, she is on NaCl, Sodium Cloride i.e. salt water? It reminded me of my own drip the last time. Ha.

I hope she will get well soon… She is too precious...